Basil Posted September 23, 2014 at 11:56 AM Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 at 11:56 AM Ah. A feeling I know well. I used to experience something similar on roughly a weekly basis when an undergrad. Try and get a common language to substantiate the feeling. It'll be a huge help in the short, medium and long run. Unless she is a black hukou, she will likely have a rudimentary grasp of the language of the quill and the sonnet. If not I still suggest waiting till next week or next month, to see if this girl is really a Rosaline or a Juliet, Romeo. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fy12 Posted September 23, 2014 at 12:01 PM Author Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 at 12:01 PM I see, thanks for the feedback Basil. I assure you she's not just another one of those women who are just physically attractive that she would demand an eye or two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basil Posted September 23, 2014 at 12:11 PM Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 at 12:11 PM Glad to hear it! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lu Posted September 23, 2014 at 12:43 PM Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 at 12:43 PM But, what if it was a potential significant other half that was disregarded just because of lack of communication or cultural differences. If it's true love, then it's not a waste to learn the other's language and culture. And if along the road, things seems to be not what it is, there would still be knowledge that was gained from the relationship.Fair enough. In that case, I'd recommend you let her know you'll be in touch in two years' time. Spend those two years studying Chinese really hard during every free minute, and then you'll be able to actually get to know her when you see her again. If it's true love, it'll still be true love in two years. Out of curiosity, how did you come to know her? Have you actually met in real life? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fy12 Posted September 23, 2014 at 12:48 PM Author Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 at 12:48 PM We met on a dating site and have progressed to skype. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Shelley Posted September 23, 2014 at 01:43 PM Popular Post Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 at 01:43 PM "We met on a dating site and have progressed to skype" Why does this not surprise me? I would take note of all the advice given. To be blunt I don't understand why you are so naive and gullible. There are so many tales of woe caused by dating site scams world wide that I am surprised you have leapt unknowingly into to such a sketchy situation. If I was you I would back out now with my nose clean and my wallet untouched. Remember this is my opinion, if, as I suspect, you intend on carrying on with this then I hope it is not as bad as I think it could be. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basil Posted September 23, 2014 at 01:46 PM Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 at 01:46 PM Yes that is the worst option. She drags him over to Shanghai where he is isolated then blackmails him. That's the tea scam gone global. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lu Posted September 23, 2014 at 02:05 PM Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 at 02:05 PM Or, more likely, she starts asking him for money to pay for various unfortunate incidents in her life (sick mother's hospital bill, university tuition). Or, also very likely (depending on which dating site he met her at), she's legit, attempts to keep the friendship up for a while, but soon it's just too much mafan to try to get to know someone who doesn't speak your language and she stops talking to him. Or, still possible, she also feels the connection and they'll eventually live happily ever after. Either way, if the OP starts to learn Chinese diligently he'll definitely get something out of it, he's quite right about that. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basil Posted September 23, 2014 at 02:09 PM Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 at 02:09 PM Yes, Join us Lee. Learn Chinese. In only ten years you'll be semi-fluent! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fy12 Posted September 23, 2014 at 03:58 PM Author Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 at 03:58 PM I appreciate everyone's views, as a veteran (Marine Corps) I have toured Japan and Thailand, and am aware of the dangers involved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
陳德聰 Posted September 23, 2014 at 04:21 PM Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 at 04:21 PM If you're rolling in dough you could just employ a translator to mediate your entire relationship. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fy12 Posted September 23, 2014 at 04:25 PM Author Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 at 04:25 PM lol, I'd rather have a skill then find a temporary solution. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winterpromise31 Posted September 23, 2014 at 05:07 PM Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 at 05:07 PM Hey, don't completely dismiss meeting someone on a dating website. ;) My husband and I met on a dating website and got married six months later. We're celebrating our ninth anniversary next month and are extremely happy. It can happen! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelley Posted September 23, 2014 at 05:24 PM Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 at 05:24 PM Did you share a common language, culture and continent? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winterpromise31 Posted September 23, 2014 at 05:25 PM Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 at 05:25 PM Well, my husband is a Star Wars fan and I was into Gilmore Girls at the time. ;) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelley Posted September 23, 2014 at 05:32 PM Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 at 05:32 PM So is that a yes? in which case the hurdles you had to climb are nothing compared to the OP. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winterpromise31 Posted September 23, 2014 at 05:35 PM Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 at 05:35 PM I'm not saying it would be easy. I just don't think he should dismiss it because it's hard. We're trying to adopt an older child from Taiwan who does not speak English outside of a few words she's learning at school. Hard? Of course! But why should we not even try? Same with the OP. It may be hard, but if he wants to try to make the relationship work, he should. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelley Posted September 23, 2014 at 05:58 PM Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 at 05:58 PM But is it a relationship? this is my question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fy12 Posted September 23, 2014 at 06:19 PM Author Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 at 06:19 PM yes, long distance relationship with unguaranteed results Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lu Posted September 23, 2014 at 07:05 PM Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 at 07:05 PM - Meeting a partner on a dating site? Entirely feasible, if you're single and looking I'd recommend trying it. - Getting together with someone of another culture? Entirely feasible, but be aware that it's more difficult and you need to communicate well. - Long-distance relationship? Possible but difficult. Success depends on a lot of factors, breakup looms at every corner. - A relationship with someone you can't talk to? I honestly don't see this working, unless perhaps neither partner cares what the other thinks, or if both manage to convey their basic emotions without words and neither is interested in more detailed communication. But... - Long-distance relationship with someone from another culture that you met on a dating site and that you can't talk to? Well, good luck. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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