Why did you leave China?

[abcdefg]

Options for eating out in China:

 

1. McDonald's;

2. Gutter Oil;

3. Luxury.

 

Not really true (at least in Kunming.) Plenty of smaller, mid-scale places that make tasty, family-style food using decent ingredients. I think you have overstated the situation in the interest of rhetoric, in the interest of proving your point.

[Angelina]

I have been to one place in Kunming, the French cafe, and they tried to scam me. Street food was amazing though, plenty of fresh fruit. Maybe you have been to restaurants I haven't seen, or ...

[grawrt]

I haven't left China yet but after this semester I will be returning home. A year ago I thought that after I finished studying that I'd like to stay here and work but after some time I finally decided that I need to go back home (not for good, maybe later I'll return). But it's mostly because I can't help but always feel like an outsider. I don't think people really want to be my friend except for that fact that I'm not only a foreigner but I'm a foreigner from the US oh and also from NYC. I don't like lying to people that I'd like to be friends with so I can't tell them I'm from any non-English speaking country because I would feel awful.

 

There are also many that begin with the quest to learn "great American English" sigh. This is usually the ice breaker into making friends but even people I have known for a while I feel like they just like me because I'm a strange foreigner and everything I do is so cute. Oh look at how cute she is ordering a meal. Oh look how she speaks to the cash register lady. I feel like my age has been greatly stunted and I don't get taken seriously at all. I'll admit I'm very childish but ordering food shouldn't warrant a look of amusement.

 

And maybe a bit off topic but I miss having "girl" friends. I like having guys as friends yes but I've met a lot of guys that got very creepy very quick. Also can't help but feel like my guy friends are only really friends with me because they think I'm a dating potential for something new and exotic. My friend actually asked me a while back "do you want to try a chinese?" .

 

That's it so far. I'm still here for about four more months, maybe I'll change my mind?

Oh also... My dog! I miss him greatly and life without him is like torture lol. yes, I love my dog... that much

[abcdefg]

#62 -- @Angelina --

 

Maybe you have been to restaurants I haven't seen, or ...

 

Not to get the thread off topic, but I've lived in Kunming most of the last 7 or 8 years. Would it really be so surprising if I've been to restaurants you didn't get to try during one brief visit as a tourist?

[Angelina]

Sure, it would make sense.

Plus in my post I said it's difficult to find exceptions, never said they don't exist, you took it out of context and left out the second part. Maybe if you have been in Kunming longer you are more familiar with the exceptions, or maybe you can argue that what I call exceptions is the majority.

This is a nice thread, let's not get off topic.

[joshuawbb]

To sum things up briefly as I've not much time for a detailed post today, I lived in Xiamen from 2009 to autumn 2013, leaving after graduating from Xiamen University. I needed to get some things in order at home before deciding whether or not to return on a Z visa for work, and also had some medical consultation to get which I could not get within China. I was in a strange position having spent four years at university in China with some internship experience, but not technically fulfilling the "clear but murky" legal requirements for a work visa (2+ years of work experience post-graduation), so I despite being confident I really wasn't sure whether or not I'd be able to secure a visa and return. I say the requirements are murky because the extent to which provincial governments will enforce the experience rule depends on their attitude as well as the wealth and job market of the city you choose.

 

Leaving Xiamen in 2013 meant temporarily leaving my girlfriend at the time, which wasn't an overly easy separation given I couldn't say for certain about the visa. We broke up by the end of the year for a few reasons, long waiting times for my medical consultation being more significant as it meant returning to China would have to wait until that was over. Still, it was an amicable breakup and we both understood the reasons. Neither of us had any regrets about the 4+ years we spent together.

 

I returned to China in April 2014 after biding my time working in the UK, then successfully getting a Z visa to work as an English teacher in Fuzhou, the capital of Fujian Province. Turns out my degree from Xiamen University and internship experience was enough to get approval from the local authorities. It was refreshing to return to China and start my career financially independent though of course, having spent a long time away from my family I missed them a lot. Still do, but we communicate often.

 

I've lived in Fuzhou now for just over a year, live with my current girlfriend and will soon take my second contract here for either a university or another training centre. Luckily the training centre I chose for my first job placed good emphasis on teaching quality and training, held teachers to high expectations and has molded me into a confident teacher. Still, I hope to move gradually into translation. 2013 to now was a rough and tiring transition period at times, but I'm now far better for it and am happy in terms of health and career.

 

Edit: I want to say thanks to everyone here, especially the people who were around when I first started posting here. All my initial knowledge about moving China and how-tos came from the users and admins here, and I can vouch for how careful and helpful those people certainly are.

[Demonic_Duck]

I haven't left China yet but after this semester I will be returning home. A year ago I thought that after I finished studying that I'd like to stay here and work but after some time I finally decided that I need to go back home (not for good, maybe later I'll return). But it's mostly because I can't help but always feel like an outsider. I don't think people really want to be my friend except for that fact that I'm not only a foreigner but I'm a foreigner from the US oh and also from NYC. I don't like lying to people that I'd like to be friends with so I can't tell them I'm from any non-English speaking country because I would feel awful.

It's true that most Chinese people will always see you as an outsider to some extent, but it's most definitely possible to assimilate, in fact it tends to be something that happens gradually over time (though of course this is much less true for people who tend to stay within expat social circles and don't learn the language).

 

There are also many that begin with the quest to learn "great American English" sigh. This is usually the ice breaker into making friends but even people I have known for a while I feel like they just like me because I'm a strange foreigner and everything I do is so cute. Oh look at how cute she is ordering a meal. Oh look how she speaks to the cash register lady. I feel like my age has been greatly stunted and I don't get taken seriously at all. I'll admit I'm very childish but ordering food shouldn't warrant a look of amusement.

Again, this will naturally improve over time, along with your Chinese level. People at my first job always used to say I would 卖萌 when I spoke Chinese (even though I wasn't doing it intentionally). People at my second job never said that. I asked a friend yesterday whether she thought I 卖萌ed when I spoke, and she told me no, although she thought all her foreign colleagues did.

 

On the other hand, she said the way I spoke seemed to lack confidence because I used too many “就是”s and “那个”s when I was pausing for thinking time (I don't think anyone who speaks English with me ever gets that impression). Bottom line: people will percieve you a certain way based on your speaking patterns. You can change those speaking patterns over time, but it takes practice.

 

And maybe a bit off topic but I miss having "girl" friends. I like having guys as friends yes but I've met a lot of guys that got very creepy very quick. Also can't help but feel like my guy friends are only really friends with me because they think I'm a dating potential for something new and exotic. My friend actually asked me a while back "do you want to try a chinese?" .

I guess I have the opposite/equivalent problem, which is that the vast majority of my Chinese friends are female. I think the only way to get around this kind of problem is to make more of a conscious effort to make same-sex friends as well. (Also if your "friends" are being creepy, it might be best to cut off contact with those friends - find some different ones of either gender. Not all opposite-sex friends will act that way!)

[abcdefg]

#66 -- Thanks for the follow up, Joshua.

[roddy]

I'll second the thanks to Joshua!

[ChTTay]

1239 days and counting! Who's leaving!?!!

 

I enjoy reading these posts though. Keep 'em coming

[Flying Pigeon]

T minus five weeks. The pigeon is flying the coop.

Plane tickets, check. Wife’s immigration visa, check. Daughter’s Chinese entry/exit permit, check (after four visits to the Public Security Bureau). And we’re set to get the heck out of Beijing when apartment remodeling season is in full swing. I won’t miss the ubiquitous sounds of drills, saws, hammers, and the person over there that seems to be banging on something just for the sake of making a loud sound.

My reasons for leaving are varied. Some are related to China; others aren’t.

First of all, it’s time to go home. I’ve been away for 16 years--seven years in Hawaii, three in Japan and six in China. During my time away, I’ve only been back home four times. There was a six-year gap between the second and third visit back home. That’s when it hit me that my parents are getting older -- my dad’s hair had turned white during my absence. My grandmother is 102 and hanging in there. Her mind is sharp as a tack, but her body is slowly giving out. Even though there are unresolved issues from the past and some occasional drama, I do miss spending time with my family.

The second reason is my 2-year-old daughter. America will offer her a better education.There are also more parks with real play equipment for children. What a concept! I won’t miss the broken and rusting medieval-torture-device-inspired “exercise” equipment that passes for play equipment here.

My wife and I met in Japan. We both like living overseas. Now it’s her turn. America will offer her better job opportunities. And labor laws. She’ll have a chance to improve her English and her ears will get a much needed and well deserved break from my toneless, grammatically ass backwards Mandarin.

Along with re-connecting with family and friends, I’m looking forward to better job opportunities, clean air, and a house with a yard. I don’t ever want to live in an apartment again!

Is this bye to China? No. We plan on coming back once a year to visit family. Bye to Beijing? Hard to say, but leaning towards yes.

[roddy]

Thank you, The Pigeon, and best of luck to you and yours back in the States.

[Flying Pigeon]

Thanks, Roddy. I'll post an update once I'm settled statestide. I'm sure there will be lots of things I will miss about living in Beijing.

[zander1]

Am a big fan of this thread, found it super interesting. Was wondering if there was any updates from people who posted in here before, did anyone come back? Regret / delighted with your decision? etc.

[Simon_CH]

I have left China for another destination in Asia, same industry, and couldn't be happier. Don't miss it for a second to be honest, think that would be different if I went back to Europe where many things are so different, for better and worse.