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bopomofo2

Same-surname marriage?

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bopomofo2

Is it considered bad luck or undesirable (or, on the contrary, desirable) to be married with someone with the same surname? Needless to say, the couple need not be close family members.

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rob07

From the point of view of the bride's family, I understand that historically, it was desirable because it means that the children of the marriage will have the same surname as the bride's father, and count as his descendants.

In the novel 许三观卖血记, the main character 许三观 wants to marry the prettiest girl in town, 许玉兰 (both surnamed 许, but unrelated). However, she already has a boyfriend that her father approves of. So 许三观 goes to her father and points out that if he orders his daughter to dump her boyfriend and marry him instead, their children will continue his line. The father thinks it is a great idea.

“这一瓶酒,这一条香烟,我收下了,你说得对,我女儿要是嫁给了何小勇,我许家就断后了。我女儿要是嫁给了你,我们两个许家的香火都接上了。”

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Lu

Traditionally, it was considered a bad idea, for reasons of possible incest. I've heard about a happy BF-GF who were forced to break up because they had the same surname. But it seems that nowadays it's more relaxed, as long as it's clear that both are really not related it can be ok. I've met a married couple both surnamed Lin, and two people both surnamed Wang who were planning to marry.

I've heard that in Korea, it's still taboo to marry someone with the same surname. And there are even more people with the same surname there. Must be hard to find an SO when you're a Kim or Park...

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skylee

My sister and her husband have the same surname (李). It was / is not a problem at all.

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imron

I also have a good friend who has the same surname as his wife (张). They've been married nearly 20 years.

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normedu

This kind of question never occurs to my mind. But I don't think it's considered bad luck on any level. It's same-surname, not same-sex after all.

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fireball9261

It has nothing to do with bad luck, but it has everything to do with incest taboo. It was generally not good in the past, but I guess the rule is relax today.

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normedu
It has nothing to do with bad luck, but it has everything to do with incest taboo. It was generally not good in the past, but I guess the rule is relax today.

By incest, did you mean marriage between cousins? I'm under the impression it was actually celebrated until modern times.

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gougou
By incest, did you mean marriage between cousins? I'm under the impression it was actually celebrated until modern times.
For instructions on which cousins you may or may not marry, refer to this thread. :wink:

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fireball9261

By incest, did you mean marriage between cousins? I'm under the impression it was actually celebrated until modern times.

There are two types of cousins:

1. The ones on your father side. They are called 堂兄弟姊妹 (at the same generation as you). They mean the people who shared the same paternal grandfather or great grandfather with you.

2. The ones on your mother side. They are called 表兄弟姊妹 (at the same generation as you). They are the ones who do not share any relatives on your father side.

In the old time, marrying your 堂兄弟姊妹 (your father's side cousins) were considered incest. A lot of times, if you marry someone with the same last name, it was also considered a taboo, especially if the person was from the same city or village as you were.

However, at the same time, a marriage between 表兄弟姊妹 (your mother's side cousins) was encouraged. It's called 親上加親 (closeness adding on closeness). I think it was because the daughter-in-law would be the niece of the mother-in-law. It was easier to get along with each other. My father's first wife was his 表姊, and they were married in 1928 in mainland China.

In the modern time, the relatives within the 5 jumps 五服 of relations could not marry in Taiwan no matter which side of the family. This is because the bloodline would be too close for good genetics. I was told the way to count it was as follows: If your cousin is the daughter of your father's brother. You counted from you to your father is 1 服. From your father to your grandfather is 2nd 服. From your grandfather to your uncle is 3rd 服. From your uncle to his daughter is 4th 服. Therefore, she is within your 5 服. If she is hot and you live in Taiwan, you could not marry. However, I heard that you could marry her if you live in Hong Kong or U.K.

Please see http://blog.23360.com/user1/find222/archives/2007/15492.html about 五服.

In the old time, you are not supposed to marry your uncles, aunts, nieces, or nephews on either the father's side or the mother's side because they are in the wrong generations. I am not sure what it's called, but it is also a taboo. In recent years, this rule was relaxed. One of my Hong Kong classmate married his cousin's daughter (a niece), and both sets of parents were not happy at all.

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OracleBone

My mother, who is a conservative woman, did mention me of it several times.

However, I never think it will be a big problem if I make the same-surname marriage with somebody....

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bhchao

The chances of your potential mates having a different surname will be substantially reduced if you are a Lee in Vancouver. The city has a large, and rapidly growing Korean population. Compound this with the legacy of Cantonese immigrants in Vancouver who also have the Lee surname.

It is the most common surname in the city.

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studentyoung
Is it considered bad luck or undesirable (or, on the contrary, desirable) to be married with someone with the same surname? Needless to say, the couple need not be close family members.

In fact, the tradition can be traced back to Zhou Dynasty (BC1066 – BC256). In those days, people believed that a couple shared the same surname might possible shared the same blood relationship or a very close blood relationship, and they usually had less children than a couple shared different surnames had. (Of course, the world has been changed for so long.)

由此说明姓是代表有共同血缘关系种族的称号。同姓之间不许通婚,是周代婚姻制度的规矩,“男女同姓,其生不蕃”(《左传•僖公二十二年》),“同姓不婚,恶不殖也”(《国语•晋剧》)。古人很早就懂得近亲婚配会产生不良后代的道理,为辨别男女姓的异同从而决定嫁娶与否,在女子称谓中标明姓就是非常必要的了。由此可见,姓的作用在古代主要就是“别种类”“别婚姻”。

男女同姓,其生不蕃: a couple shared the same surname might had less children

同姓不婚,恶不殖也: the pair shared the same surname should not get married to avoid reproductive problems.

http://zhidao.baidu.com/question/24984195.html?si=5

Cheers!

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co-chu

so since the world has changed and the rule relaxed and having no said connection other than having the same surname in todays generation would it still be considered bad luck? even superstitions? for example i was told that all the males in the fam would die of some unrelated illness with no genetic simalirites due to a same surname marrige and or birth child.

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monto

Same-surname marriage

It is not a taboo and not had been a taboo, neither traditional way nor scientific way.

It's been a misunderstanding of the taboo by some people.

Traditionally, marriage between close blood relationship with the same surmane is taboo.

Two persons with same surname may have and may not have any link in blood.

To make this thing clear, there had been a concept called "本" under the concept of "姓".

This term, "origin" may be the best illustration for it, have been long out of use in China eccept in expression "忘本". The same idea is expressed by "同宗" or "同祠堂" instead for quite a long time.

Influenced by Chinese culture, the term "本" is still in use in Korea (both the South and the North), with Korean pronuciation "bon". Only persons with same surname and same "本" are considered to have blood link (as matter of fact, they really have on father's side).

For example, there are more than hundred diferent surname "Lee"s ( spelled as "Yi" in the South, and "Rhee" in the North) in Korea. They are different as they differ in their "本"

speaking precise, traditionally in Chine, marriage between close blood link on father's side is taboo. mother's side is always considered "remote" .

From long history, human beings gradually felf the disadvantage of close-boold linked marriage without scietific knowledge --- this is how the moral concept against "incest" appear. All peoples over the world today had a time when a man can take his kin sister as his wife, of course it was a thing long long ago.

Science today tells us that, marriage between close kinship is really not a good one.

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