Two sentences, which one is better?

[animal world]

In Animal World’s version, would it be better to insert “well” between “corrosion” and “in” , it seems necessary.

I disagree. "Well" is one of these subjective qualifiers and weakens the writing . How "well" is "well"? 70% , 80%, 90%, 95%, or 99.9%? A property that the writer might consider "well" might be deemed "mediocre" or "unacceptable" by a reader. If the degree of resistance is THAT important it should be described concisely. Wordiness dilutes writing and instead of providing more information generally just causes confusion.

[Kenny同志]

What you said makes sense. I think Chinese technical writers need to imitate their western counterparts. I must admit that Chinese technical writings are horrible. They are vague, stiff, superfulous, pompous and rife with cliches.

[in_lab]

They are vague, stiff, superfulous, pompous and rife with cliche.

I think that describes most English technical writing too, but not "vague". What kinds of vagueness do you see in Chinese technical writing?

[Kenny同志]

They are vague because of redundancy.

[buanryoh]

Anyone prefer 'superior' to 'excellent'

'...provides superior corrosion resistance...'

Edited October 21, 2009 at 04:32 AM by buanryoh

[buanryoh]

I'm wondering about the low-density and corrosion resistant properties? Is the relationship causitive? If so, perhaps we could change the sentence to something like "...are low-density and therefore provide superior corrosion resistance in many media."

[anonymoose]

I'm wondering about the low-density and corrosion resistant properties? Is the relationship causitive?

No, there is no necessary relationship.

[roddy]

Kenny, I've found a companion to Madam Pinkham's book for you

http://wac.colostate.edu/books/kirkpatrick_xu/

and it's all free online. Let us know what you think...

[Kenny同志]

Thanks for the book, Roddy. I shall take a look at it on my Hanvon e-book reader and get back to you later.

[roddy]

Thanks Kenny. I thought it looked interesting, but you know what they say - 零分钱，零分...hang on, I've got that wrong somewhere...

[Kenny同志]

Roddy, I am afraid this book is a bit too deep for me. And to be honest, the subject isn't of much interest to me. Thanks all the same though.

[li3wei1]

It seems that texts in science and technology are pervasive with nouns, however I think words would lose their power if too many nouns are used.

This can also just be the language. I remember from when I was translating from French to English that the French often use nouns for things that would be adjectives or adverbs, or even verbs, in English. And British people are always complaining about the American habit of 'verbing', i.e. using nouns as verbs.