Questions about Life in China

[simonlaing]

Make sure she can deal with stairs as there are a lot of stairs around.

Stairs to the subway. Stairs to classrooms. Often stairs in restaurants and bars that you go to as well.

Many apartments come with queen sized beds with often hard mattresses . You can buy a mattress when you get here but it can be expensive.

Also much of Beijing is is more spread out than other cities. Buying shoes and other clothes can be a problem though you can have clothes made for you.

Don't let anyone kid you she will have a difficult adjustment. It is doable, and Beijing is much more international than before, but be ready for a difficult first 6 months.

Good luck,

Simon:)

[monkey]

Hello

I recently moved to North Eastern China to teach English with my partner. I am also a big woman. I am only 4'11" and currently weigh about 205 pounds. I was sooo nervous before I got here. So far I haven't had any embarrassing comments made but it is not a 'big' friendly country. My apartment is on the 8th floor and there is no lift. The first time I walked up the stairs I was so worried I wouldn't make it. It is getting easier though.

When we went to Beijing we were surprised how few people spoke English. I assumed that being a big city there would be a few people. It is nothing like South East Asia where almost everyone in the tourist cities speak a lil English. Also, in our experience, people over here stare. Sometimes I think it's just me - because I'm fat but then my boyfriend who is 5'11 and 150lbs says he gets stared at when I'm not around also. I arrived here smiling at everyone I made eye contact with. They do not smile back. They just stare and look angry. It was quite upsetting at first. I felt so hideous. Now I realise that it is just a cultural thing and in cities with so many million people you can't expect everyone to be in the habit of smiling at strangers. The longer I am here the more positive warm experiences I am having. Please tell your wife to try and get out there and enjoy China otherwise it is very posible she will experience severe culture shock and want to leave.

When will you arrive? How old are you both?

Please PM me if your wife ever wants someone to email and talk to about life in China and being a bigger woman.

[jbradfor]

Thanks for sharing your story, I hope it will help the OP.

They just stare and look angry.

I doubt it was anger. Probably just being very serious and lack of humor. I find Chinese facial expressions somewhat different than western.

[skylee]

you can't expect everyone to be in the habit of smiling at strangers.

I think it is strange whenever a stranger smiles at me. And it is true that I don't have this habit. And when it happens I can't instantly respond with a smile. I have to literally rearrange my facial expression. As a result the smile is always delayed, hesitant and unnatural.

[Meng Lelan]

Most people in the US have this insane habit of smiling at strangers. Even being a US native myself, I've always thought this to be very weird.

[eatfastnoodle]

Well, I wouldn't say it's an "insane" habit. It's nice to think that somebody is happy to see you even though you know it's just a form of social etiquette. Just to keep in mind that when it comes to interaction between Chinese and Americans, Americans' habitual show of enthusiasm and over-friendliness on many trivial matters regardless what he/she actually thinks of the other side leave many Chinese, especially those who have been in the US for a while and experienced some of the dark side hidden behind outward friendliness, the impression that Americans are somehow phony. So rest assured that you're not the only one with problems living abroad, many, if not all Chinese living in the states have the same problems, only with different manifestations, like you guys, they just don't tell their local friends and acquaintances. just learn to adjust, you'll be fine.

Edited February 7, 2010 at 03:23 AM by eatfastnoodle

[bravelee]

smiling at strangers is not included in the chinese culture and will be considered weird, if you want to smile at some one you better start a conversation at the same time, you will find people with "angry" faces respond more friendly than just giving them a silent smile

[Meng Lelan]

Actually I read somewhere that in Germany if a guy stranger smiles at a girl stranger it is construed as a sexual advance. I guess the Germans in here can correct if this is a mistaken notion, but anyway yes, that's part of the American culture, everyone all smiley no matter what. I've never understood it. No wonder I felt right at home in China. As for angry face, probably what you saw were startled faces.

[bravelee]

to Meng Lelan

as an native chinese who has been living in germany for over 5 years, I would say smiling to a girl stranger is not a sexual advance, but we still need native german to confirm this:)

[renzhe]

It all depends on the context.

In general, Europeans don't smile to random people on the street as much as Americans do. A smile is a sign of friendliness and if you're being overly friendly to random strangers on the street, people might think that you want something from them.

It's different if you're talking to somebody or otherwise interacting with someone.

If you're standing in a bar and smiling at a pretty girl across the room for no reason then yeah, it will be interpreted as an advance.

[chrix]

I think usually if a girl smiles at a boy it can often be misinterpreted as a sexual advance, but this is obviously heavily dependent on context. So it's not all that clear cut.

[Meng Lelan]

Ok, that's made much clearer to me, thanks.

[gerri]

Usually, and most problematically, there is even a gender difference: The girl will think she is just being nice, smiling at someone to potentially break the ice, see if he would want to talk; the guy will tend to see it as sexual advance. Or so evolutionary psychologists like to warn.

[Daan]

In the Netherlands, it also depends on what you're doing on the street. Posties, for example, are met with smiles wherever they go, and are expected to smile at everyone they see. This is just a normal part of social life. But if you're out shopping and you smile at someone from the opposite sex, the smile would be likely to be construed as flirting. It all depends on the context, as chrix and renzhe said.

[yonitabonita]

Just to get back on track on the OP's question.

A possible solution to the small sizes difficulty in China is to go the tailor made option. This might even be fun for your wife. She can choose styles and fabrics she likes and just get a tailor to whip it up for her. All for a fraction of the cost of doing the equivalent back home.

Just near the Beijing Zoo is a major retail garment area where there are shopping malls dedicated to jeans, and others dedicated to winter overcoats etc. I've seen plus sized clothing for the export market in this area. More specifically in an underground complex called 新天地。 Admittedly plus sized garments are the minority but probably worth a mention anyway.

Good luck.

Y

[Erbse]

Actually I read somewhere that in Germany if a guy stranger smiles at a girl stranger it is construed as a sexual advance.

I think usually if a girl smiles at a boy it can often be misinterpreted as a sexual advance, but this is obviously heavily dependent on context.

Let me explain.

If you look like George Cloney and smile at a women it's called charming compliment.

If you look like a homeless jobless bum and smile at a women it's called sexual harassment.

[Meng Lelan]

Just near the Beijing Zoo is a major retail garment area where there are shopping malls dedicated to jeans, and others dedicated to winter overcoats etc. I've seen plus sized clothing for the export market in this area. More specifically in an underground complex called 新天地。 Admittedly plus sized garments are the minority but probably worth a mention anyway.

Oooh! That's Ganjiakou, right? I used to go to school near there.

[aroberts42]

Hi Reysek,

I was just wondering how your plans were going on the move to China. Are you still going? Did the reasurrances put forth by the posters here help aleviate your wife's fears?