Stories using set sentence structure

[Yezze]

I have make a short story (1-2 minutes) speaking time using a set of sentence structures.

First set- Lai bu ji, bu ru, you~you

Second Set- Kongpa, chu le~~yiwai, yaoshi de hua~Jiu

Third Set- Cong Lai, zai hu, mei kan chu, zhengzai

If someone with knowledge of how to use these properly wouldn't mind taking the time to come up with short stories ( or just a start, i can add more), for each of these, that would be extremely helpful. I have an ok grasp on the structures, but not 100% sure as to how to use them and make them flow. I have to use each structure at 1-2 times, and the story should make some sense (as in it includes people/dates/time/places for ex). I can only read pinyin, but if you can only use characters, i could have my friend read it to me. An English translation of them isn't needed, since i can translate them by myself (in theory), but it wouldn't hurt to add one if you wouldn't mind taking the time.

Thanks!

[HashiriKata]

If we do this exercise for you, we would take away from you the opportunity of trying it out. Why don't you just try it and post the result here? Some of us will have a look for you and help if necessary.

[Yezze]

I wasn't sure if what i had was right, that is why i asked for someone to start one off, but here is what i had as of last night when i posed my question.

1-Kongpa jintiang yao shayu. Yaoshi shayu de dua wo jiu wan youxi. Wo xihuan Monopoly and Risk. Chu le youxi yiwai wo hai xihuan tan qin. Yaoshi wo lay le de hua wo jiu shui jiao.

2- Wo cong lai mei chi guo zao fan. Yinwei wo hen ziahu wo de jian kang. Wo zhengzai duan lian. Ni mei kan chu lai ba, tineiw wo e ge dou hen jian kang.

3- Wo dede de chung je (spelling?) bu wu wo de hao. yineiw wo dede lai bu ji zho (spelling?) gong ke. Ta you wan zu qiu you wang qiu.

So, i am using these structures right?

[Lu]

1: Structure looks right to me. Note that 'to rain' is xia yu, not sha yu. Also I would make it 'Yaoshi xiayu de hua, wo bu chuqu wanr, wo jiu [zai jiali] wan youxi.' to make the sentence nicer, but it's not wrong as it is now.

2: Conglai mei chiguo zaofan? You have never in your life eaten breakfast? If that is what you mean it's correct, but it seems a bit unlikely. The last sentence I can't understand.

3: Little brother is spelled didi, what do you mean by 'chungje'? Laibuji as I know it means 'can't make it, is too late', so the use here doesn't look quite right to me.

[HashiriKata]

Like Lu, I'll just add a bit of what I can to help:

1-Kongpa jintiang yao shayu. Yaoshi shayu de dua wo jiu wan youxi. Wo xihuan Monopoly and Risk. Chu le youxi yiwai wo hai xihuan tan qin. Yaoshi wo lay le de hua wo jiu shui jiao.

Kongpa jintian yao xiayu. Yaoshi xiayu de hua, wo jiu wan youxi. Wo xihuan Monopoly he Risk. Chu le youxi yiwai, wo hai xihuan tan qin. Yaoshi wo lei le de hua, wo jiu shui jiao.

No.1 seems ok to me.

2- Wo cong lai mei chi guo zao fan. Yinwei wo hen ziahu wo de jian kang. Wo zhengzai duan lian. Ni mei kan chu lai ba, tineiw wo e ge dou hen jian kang.

2- Wo conglai mei chiguo zaofan. Yinwei wo hen zaihu wo de jiankang. Wo zhengzai duanlian shenti. Ni mei kanchulai ba, tineiw wo e ge dou hen jian kang.

No.2 doesn't sound very logical but it's ok. I can't correct the last sentence because there seem to be serious typos there and you need first to correct the typos.

3- Wo dede de chung je (spelling?) bu wu wo de hao. yineiw wo dede lai bu ji zho (spelling?) gong ke. Ta you wan zu qiu you wang qiu.

3- Wo didi de chung je (chengji?) buru wode hao. yinwei wo didi laibuji zho (zuo?) gong ke. Ta you xihuan wan zuqiu you xihuan wan wangqiu.

No.3 , with some minor corrections, seems ok to me, although the logics of it is not . Yes, you can say "laibuji zuo gongke".

Edit: To make No.3 a bit more logical, I'd change it as follows, but you'll lose the structure "you...you":

Wo didi de chengji buru wode hao. Zhe shi yinwei ta hen xihuan wan zuqiu ye hen xihuan wan wangqiu, suoyi meiyou shijian zuo gongke.

Edited January 20, 2010 at 02:11 PM by HashiriKata

[HashiriKata]

First set- Lai bu ji, bu ru, you~you

Since I took away your No.3, here's the replacement for it. I hope it works better than your original and still sounds believable as your own creation :

Xianzai tai wanle, laibuji gan gongchele. Zhaoji ye meiyong, buru da chuzuche, you kuai you shufu!

(现在太晚了， 来不及赶公车了。着急也没用，不如打出租车,又快又舒服！)

Edited January 28, 2010 at 05:08 PM by HashiriKata