As a non-native Cantonese speaker

[Zomac]

Non-native Cantonese accents seem to be a resource to inspire many jokes. Here is one, out of many others. For good or bad, political correctness isn't rooted yet, but in this learners forum, I'm wondering if anyone has some first hand experience? How do you see this?

流傳最廣的笑話發生在一間按摩場。故事中有一名骨女和純情港燦對答。

骨女：老闆，不如先黎「射杯精」。

客人：下？又話呢度係正經按摩店既...一杯應該唔得喎。

骨女：先射杯精（寫杯drink），按摩時好口乾架。

客人：哦...咁有乜飲架？

骨女：有奶茶、咖啡、可樂、「新彊可樂」

客人：新彊可樂？唔駛另外畀錢架？

骨女：免費架！

(片刻)

客人：呢杯係可樂煲薑喎。

骨女：係呀，咪「新彊可樂」囉~~ (生薑可樂)

(片刻)

骨女：老闆，你「硬」幾耐?

客人：呀？有時都幾耐... 你仲乜咁問既？

骨女：我想問你「硬」三小時得唔得？

客人：我怕唔得喎...

骨女：但「硬」(按)一個鐘同三個鐘一樣價錢，客人多數按三個鐘。

客人：哦.......

(片刻)

骨女：你做唔做雀仔按摩呀？

客人：我唔係好慣喎。

骨女：果度有好多穴位，最初按有少少痛，但對身體好好架。

客人：雀仔都有穴位，咁試下啦...

骨女（向店員叫）：拎盤水黎，幫老闆洗腳，佢要做雀仔按摩（腳底按摩）

（又片刻）

骨女：老細你都幾尻（gau1）喎...

客人：呀...所以係香港搵唔到女朋友囉。

骨女：但你甘尻（高），應該好多女人屎寬（喜歡）喎。

(再片刻)

骨女：老細你鐘唔鐘意玩「攤直射」？

客人：乜話？！

骨女：「攤直射」好好玩架，我教你玩丫！

(跟住拿出Nokia手機一部)

骨女：呢個咪「攤直射」（貪食蛇)囉！講開又講，你電話有冇「雷電顯示」（來電顯示）？

（片刻）

骨女：老闆，我地玩「失蹤」好唔好？

客人：間房咁細，玩唔到喎。

骨女：唔駛好大地方架，我都係上星期先「學失」（學識）玩「失蹤」（骰盅）…

（片刻）

骨女：我最近想買個電視機返鄉下，香港買電視機有冇電視框？

客人：當然有啦...

骨女：咁係咪好多電視框架？

客人：...買電視，點會送你好多架電視櫃架。你要咁多電視櫃做乜？

骨女：奇喇，我聽啲同鄉講，去香港買電器，好多「電視框」（discount)

（按摩後）

骨女：老闆，你要唔要食啲野？

客人：有乜食架？

骨女：最近有老鼠拼盤，有老鼠蛋、老鼠腸、老鼠豬耳（鹵水＝老鼠），好好食架。

客人：我唔敢食喎。

骨女：咁食乳頭（魚頭）丫，好好味架！

客人：我...冇心理準備食喎。叫人同我去麥當勞買個豬柳漢堡就得。

骨女：要蛋呀。

客人：唔要蛋喇。

骨女：係要蛋喎！

客人：我真係唔要蛋，我只係要豬柳漢堡！

骨女：要蛋一蛋呀，要蛋（等）十分鐘呀…

http://evchk.wikia.com/wiki/%E9%AA%A8%E5%A0%B4%E5%BB%A3%E6%9D%B1%E8%A9%B1

( Released into CC-BY-SA license, so free to paste)

Frankly, I hate to admit.. I can't stop laughing..

[skylee]

電視框 and 蛋一蛋 are old jokes. I have posted them here and here.

[sebhk]

Entertaining piece of writing. Some the mistakes seem a bit far fetched and unlikely to ever happen in real situations, but the 食乳頭 part really made me laugh.

I once read a post on the cantodict forums, where someone described a situation where he wanted to say 狗, but pronounced it as 尻. Also, a Cantonese teacher I know claimed that one of his students meant to order a 熱狗, but said 熱尻 instead.