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我第二诗


querido

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谢谢你们。

对不起,我忘了我在Chinese Corner的短信。

 

---走长路走到海滩 

他去了到世界的边缘,世界的尽头

---浪花吻风吻天空 

我用了"天空"告诉你: 不是现实,是隐喻

---波浪敲土敲世界 

如果你不能猜测他是沮丧的,对不起。

---站着别动站永远 

在这儿他的生命来到它的"尽头"因为他不能找到她。

---耳目找你看不见 

他的耳子和他的眼睛不能找到她。

 

它是一个爱诗从一个美国人到一个中国人。明白吗?

浪花的"花"是我的灵感。但中国太远。明白吗?

( 不是真的故事)

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向海滩兮路漫漫

风起浪兮浪吻天

震六合兮翻水土

长伫立兮空凝望

发空白兮不见君

The poem above is just for fun. Only when you have learnt Classical Chinese can you understand it.the format above is known as “骚体”(sāotǐ, a format which is used in 300bc classic《离骚》(Lísāo)written by 屈原Qūyuán)

语法上

只有一点要注意下 就是站着别动 这种说法是命令语气。可能换成“不动”好一点。

写成这样,也难能可贵了(难能可贵:尽管事情并没有做到最好,但是因为它很难,所以做到这样也非常值得表扬了。)

文学上就说一个方面

白话诗可以写得更加“散” 也就是不需要全部同字数。

I'm waiting for your new poem! Wish you become a real poetry!

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