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Pinyin - Help would be much appreciated!


Drew101

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Hi guys, just signed up to this forum. I've written a few paragraphs on some themes and am looking for feedback as to whether they make grammatical sense. I'd be very grateful for any directions on their grammatical sense!

Someone's ill:

Zhè liǎng tiān wǒ hěn máng le. Zhè ge xīngqīsān mǎdáwèi gěi wǒ dǎ le ge diànhuà. Tā gàosù le wǒ tā shēntǐ dōu bù shūfu, wèn wǒ tā yīnggāi shénme bàn. Wǒ qù le tā sùshè, kàn tā yǒu gǎnmào. Wǒ gàosù tā déle gǎnmào. Yào qù yīyuàn kànbìng le. Tā chá yī kè bā diǎn qù le yīyuàn. Yīshēng shuō tā sǎngzì yǒudiǎnr fāshāo, yě yǒu tóu téng. Gěi tā zhōngyào. Xiànzài, tā hǎo ba.

You need to rent a house:

Ding lìbō, xiànzài wǒ yào dà tào fángzi. Wǒ de sùshè tài dà le, hái nǐ zài zhèr. Wǒ gàosù le nǐ, nǐ bú shì wǒ de péngyou! Nǐ néng bù néng wèn nǐ de jīnlǐ bāngzhù wǒmen? Nǐ néng? Hǎo jiàn shìr. Wǒ xiǎng fángzū yī tào fángzi hěn dà, yǒu chúfáng hé cèsuǒ. Kěshì bù guì.

Jīntiān shí diǎn bàn wǒ gěi zū fang gōngsī dǎ le yī ge diànhuà. Jīnglǐ shuō wǒ kěyǐ zhǎo fángzi, wǒ tài gāo xìng. Lìbō, wō hěn bùhǎoyìsi, wǒ zhēn xǐhuan nǐ.

Merry Christmas, give everyone gifts and good tidings:

Jīntiān shì shèngdànjié. Wǒ zài zhōngguó dìyīcì guò shèngdàn, wǒ xiǎng jiā. Kěshì, zài zhèr zhēn yǒuyìsi. Shàngwǔ qī diǎn wǒ qù yóujú gěi wǒ mama hé bàba yīdiǎn lǐwù jì. Tāmen dōu shǔ lóng, gěi tāmen liǎng ge yù lóng.

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Someone's ill:

Zhè liǎng tiān wǒ hěn máng le.

Zhè liǎng tiān wǒ hěn máng.

Zhè ge xīngqīsān mǎdáwèi gěi wǒ dǎ le ge diànhuà.

Zhège xīngqī sān Mǎdáwèi gěi wǒ dǎle gè diànhuà.

Tā gàosù le wǒ tā shēntǐ dōu bù shūfu, wèn wǒ tā yīnggāi shénme bàn.

Tā gàosù wǒ tā shēntǐ hěn bù shūfu, wèn wǒ tā yīnggāi zěnme bàn

[都 (dōu) = also, 很 (hěn) = very. 什么 (shénme) = what, 怎么 (zěnme) = how/why]

Wǒ qù le tā sùshè, kànyǒu gǎnmào.

Wǒ qù le tā de sùshè, fāxiàn gǎnmào le.

Wǒ gàosù tā déle gǎnmào. Yào qù yīyuàn kànbìng le.

Wǒ gàosù tā déle gǎnmào. Yào qù zhěnsuǒ kànbìng le.

[First, "Wǒ gàosù tā déle gǎnmào" literally translates into "I told him has a cold" so you need to add another pronoun (tā) there to change it into "I told him he has a cold".Also, you don't go to the hospital (yīyuàn) because of a fever unless it's severe. Otherwise, you go to a clinic (zhěnsuǒ)]

Tā chá yī kè bā diǎn qù le yīyuàn.

Rephrase

Yīshēng shuō tā sǎngzì yǒudiǎnr fāshāo, yě yǒu tóu téng.

Yīshēng shuō tā sǎngzì yǒudiǎnr fāyán, yě yǒu chūxiàn tóuténg de zhèngzhuàng

[Throat doesn't get fever (fāshāo) although it does affect it, so I'm guessing you're trying to say inflamation (fāyán)]

Gěi tā zhōngyào. Xiànzài, tā hǎo ba.

Gěile yào. Xiànzài, tā yǐjīng hǎo le.

[There isn't a word that is written "zhōngyào". If Chinese Medicine is the term you wanted then "z" should be capitalized just as the "c" in "Chinese" is. If you are using a measure word, make sure you are using the correct one because measure words for medicine change the meaning as well. Such as "一剂药", "一盅药", "一种药"...]

Check your other paragraphs too as there are a few noticeable areas that could be improved as well.

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