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Does anyone get these jokes from SiChuan dialect


february6

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一外省男,进四川的饭店,点了个鱼香茄子,于是发生下面一段话:

“老板,老板!!”          

“啥子事哦?”         

“你这鱼香茄子咋没得鱼呢?”          

“鱼香茄子本来就没得鱼嘛!”       

“没得鱼干嘛叫鱼香茄子呢?”          

“照你娃这么说,如果你要点个“虎皮青椒”,老子还得给你弄张老虎皮不成?;点个“老婆饼”,老子还给你发老婆不?;你P人点个“夫妻肺片”,我不是还得去给你杀两个人不成?”       

 

 


奥运会开幕之前,两个四川人到北京旅游,在公车上看地图

甲:“我们先杀到天安门,然后再杀到中南海...”          

乙:“要得,我们就按到你说的路线一路杀过切嘛!……”          

话音未说完,就马上被同车群众举报,下车后即被扭送至公安机关,交代了N小时情况后才被放出。          

甲乙又来到了天安门广场,看着人来人往,两人无语......          

甲忍不住:“你浪个不开腔(枪)也?”          

乙:“你都不开腔(枪),我浪个敢开也?” 。

话音刚落,又被扭送至公安机关。          

一周后两人走出了看守所大门,你看看我,我看看你。          

甲说:“勒哈安逸了,包包都着整空老,哪点去搞点子弹嘛?”......          

门口的武警马上冲上来,将两人按倒在地。……          

中共中央发出紧急通知:奥运会不允许四川人参加,太恐怖了!这是后话。


 

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