Lost my temper last night

[Jim]

One of my couple of go-everywhere backpack books for many years, Montaigne's essays. He's good company.

[Lu]

38 minutes ago, imron said:

Why not? The human mind is quite easily controlled and conditioned, and you have complete control over your own one.

Neh, I don't think that's a healthy approach to life.

 

I think in situations such as this one, you are largely correct and it's possible and not too difficult to adjust your reaction and not get annoyed, or at least not act annoyed. But in general, the human mind and its emotions are not 'easily controlled and conditioned' and I think believing this, or trying to control and condition one's emotions, is not a healthy way to live. Certain situations (your crush liking you back, a good friend dying, an bartender refusing to speak Chinese to you at the end of a long day) cause certain emotions and that is fine.

[道艺]

Really? Isn't that like the whole philosophy behind meditation? separating the ego and the consciousness or something? Learning how to see the forces which act upon you as out of your control and controlling how you react, if at all? 

 

Anyway, nowadays if I get in a little game of 中英语 chicken, I'll throw out a 你英文讲的怎么这么棒 and that'll pretty much weed out most ppl

[murrayjames]

Obligatory John Pasden post on language power struggles:

https://www.sinosplice.com/life/archives/2010/05/18/language-power-struggles

 

The good news is that the longer you stay in China and the better your Chinese gets the less this happens. If someone were to approach you and say “Hey, how are you?” in a relaxed and comfortable manner that captured many of the phonetic and cadential nuances of native English speech, you would just answer them in English, no matter their ethnic or linguistic background. The same is true for Chinese speech.

[abcdefg]

14 hours ago, suMMit said:

Going to try not to get irritated next time and to simply ask people 我们可以说中文吗？in these situations.  

 

我们就讲国语，好不好？is more likely to get the job done (for example.) Try to find more "local" 地道 ways to say these things. If you sound like a classroom or textbook, it won't be convincing. 

[murrayjames]

Simpler: 我们说中文吧.

[abcdefg]

1 hour ago, murrayjames said:

Simpler: 我们说中文吧.

 

Yes, that's good too! 

 

If I had to give one really informal, non-academic piece of advice to someone starting out talking to Chinese people on the street, it wouldn't be about correct tones or even word choice. It would be "Just spit it out." Talk loud and clear and without hesitation or implied apology by a meek tone of voice. Even if you say it wrong, say it like you mean it. 

 

 

[mungouk]

8 hours ago, abcdefg said:

我们就讲国语

 

In what contexts or locations is a local person likely to use the term 国语 rather than 中文 or 普通话？

 

(Just curious; my young students use 国语 to refer to their Chinese class in school.)

[roddy]

4 hours ago, abcdefg said:

Talk loud and clear and without hesitation or implied apology by a meek tone of voice. Even if you say it wrong, say it like you mean it. 

While this is true, it's advice I would always accompany with a stern warning to also try as hard as you can to not say things wrong.

 

I remembered that other Montaigne quote. "My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened".

 

Edit: Next to never heard 国语 in the north. I associate it with Taiwan, for what that's worth. But as always, listen and adopt the local usage.

[道艺]

I usually hear 国语 thrown around by those who grew up before English was the go to language taught in school or from those from the country, to me it has a working class/in group ring to it

[Moshen]

Where are all you people living or traveling? On my last 4 week trip to China in October, I came across only three people who spoke to me in English.  I was traveling in areas where I was the only non Asian person around.  It was also my experience in my 2015 trip to China.

[murrayjames]

On 12/19/2019 at 10:28 AM, suMMit said:

Employee in a Chinese owned beer chain [spoke to me in English]

 

@suMMit How was the beer though?

[suMMit]

@murrayjames 好喝

 

@Moshen Could you give a description of what they looked like? I‘ll bet it was one of those same three people.

[889]

我们就讲国语。

 

Phrase it whatever, but 咱们 sounds more colloquial than 我们 in this context.

[carlo]

Slightly more advanced version of the above: translate whatever he says right back to him. 

 

“No”

“No? 你的意思是说没有吗？怎么会没有？我还记得上次balabala“

”OK”

“嗨，我还是担心你没听明白。麻烦你再给我重复一遍可以吗？“

 

etc. Like jazz, adapt to the situation, but always be considerate (maybe he also had a hard day).

[ChTTay]

Yeah heard 国语 a lot in Taiwan. Never hear it in Beijing. 

[suMMit]

@道艺黄帝

 "I'll throw out a 你英文讲的怎么这么棒 and that'll pretty much weed out most ppl"

 

I like this reverse psychology approach!

[889]

Maybe add 比我好! at the end there.

 

Or maybe not.