Lu Posted July 31, 2022 at 06:03 PM Report Share Posted July 31, 2022 at 06:03 PM I'm editing a translation of a short story. The entire story is not too easy, but the difficulty is dialed up to about 12 in the last paragraph. Young girl has been deceived by older man. They meet on top of a building. She proposes they jump off to die together, he says no, but she manages to wrestle him to the edge and over the parapet of the roof. Then follows a looong sentence: 女儿墙的外面，那白晃晃的半空中，像摆着一张天底下最高级的鸳鸯眠床，心意已决的多情少女痴缠着要共赴云雨，老练的男子则固执地吊着胃口、故作正经地要与她划清界限、分榻独处，而关于这一点，他们显然难以达成一致的意见。远远地从空中俯看，他们好像不是在跟生死搏击，而是在一起玩人体骰子——骨碌碌的转动中，在一个似乎是不够小心、用力过猛的跃动中，纯真的情欲侥幸获得了胜利，这两条藤萝附身互为镣锁的影子最终共同升腾起来，一半是惊骇一半是喜悦地越过女儿墙，升腾到半空，继而消失在天台之外。 Here is my understanding: Outside the parapet was the white sky, like the most comfortable bed in the world, ready for a couple of mandarin ducks: the besotted young girl who has decided to come to an intimate intercourse, and the experienced man who stubbornly keeps his lust in check and wants to draw a clear line between him and this girl, doesn't want to share this deathbed with her. At this point, they clearly have trouble coming to an understanding. If you saw them from a distance from the sky, it would seem they weren't fighting on life and death, but were playing with each other like human dice. In a whirl of bones, with a jump that seemed careless, seemed a little too wild, simple lust was lucky enough to gain the upper hand. The two tendrils of wisteria shadows chained to one another, eventually rose up together, half in fright and half in joy they go over the parapet, rose to the sky, and continued to disappear away from the rooftop. (Please don't mind the style too much; the translation is into Dutch, not English.) Any pointers are more than welcome, but especially about the bolded sentence, which I can't figure out. Thanks in advance! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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