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Fixing Cultural Misunderstandings


ChouDoufu

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Channamasala,

Thank you for your insight. I can handle the advances of women. Diplomacy usually works well. I would not rule out platonic relationships with mature women (colleagues), but by the same token, i would not want to be misunderstood if I regularly accepted (or initiated) invitations for tea or coffee. I mean, I could see chinese male colleagues becoming a bit irritated that a blue-eyed American devil has begun competing on their turf if i do not invite them.

I'm sure I'll find my way and find a middle ground.

When i taught Asian students here in the U.S. I tended to give them a little more personal attention than their American counterparts. (they earned it and deserved it). The guys asked for and accepted as much private help that I was willing to give out. So did the women. I spent many hours of my own time in the university cafeterias tutoring.

The guys expected me to ask them up for money, and the women seemed to expect (and fear) that i would ask them out. When neither happened at the end of one semester, a couple of the students wanted to know why I was so willing to help while other American teachers generally treated them poorly.

They couldn't accept that I did it just because i enjoyed working with them.

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