wai ming Posted September 10, 2005 at 12:20 PM Report Share Posted September 10, 2005 at 12:20 PM Found this somewhere on the Internet, don't know who wrote it though. 《中国超简史》 盘古说：我开； 女娲说：我补； 共工说：我撞； 神农说：我尝； 精卫说：我填； 夸父说：我追； 后羿说：我射； 嫦娥说：没射着！ 黄帝说：我们做什么； 尧说：我让； 舜说：我也让； 禹说：咱爷们怎么办？ 启说：让他个球！ 桀说：好玩； 汤说：造反有理了； 夏亡了…… 纣说：痛快； 武王说：我也反了； 商亡了…… 幽王说：点火； 褒姒说：刺激； 周也亡了…… 干将说：我铸； 专诸说：我舞； 荆柯说：我刺； 赢政一躲：没刺着…… 始皇说：我修； 姜女说：我哭； 陈胜说：有种； 项羽说：我举； 刘邦说：我斩； 秦亡了…… 孔子说：我仁； 孟子说：我义； 老子说：我无为； 庄子说：我逍遥； 韩非子说：把他们全抓了。 张良说：我出谋划策； 韩信说：我统帅三军； 萧何说：我运筹帷幄； 高祖说：老婆，怎么办； 吕后说：全喀嚓了。 文景说：我治； 武帝说：我兴； 光武说：我中兴； 献帝说：我说了不算。 张骞说：我通； 班超说：我也通； 苏武说：通个屁！ 卫青说：我打； 霍去病说：我也打； 李广说：我还打； 昭君嫣然一笑，遂天下太平。 董卓说：我势大； 吕布说：我人帅； 貂婵说：你们俩谁厉害。 董卓完蛋了。 曹操说：快帮我脱鞋迎老许； 刘备说：快给我牵驴来访诸葛； 孙权说：周郎自有妙计安天下； 周瑜说：加油，烧死老曹； 诸葛说：天下三分，人人有份； 司马昭说：向刘备同志学习； 晋开始了。 司马迁说：要想成功，不怕被宫； 班固说：我要出书； 司马相如说：一首赋稿费一千； 曹操说：抄家伙我要赋诗； 曹植说：命题作文有何难； 孔明说：我要写道动员令； 陶潜说你们累不累呀。 遂卷铺盖回家了。 朱温说：我同花顺； 萧道成说：我一条顺； 陈霸先说：重新洗牌…… 杨广说：去扬州观花； 李渊说：消来公费旅游； 李世民说：魏征，你的意思； 李治说：老婆，你的意思； 武则天说：那还不如我说了算； 薛刚说：反了你了！ 骆宾王说：鹅肥； 王勃说：情深； 李白说：酒美； 王维说：景幽； 孟浩然说：风流； 杜甫说：屋漏； 白居易说：抱想琵琶唱OK； 李商隐：我没话说了。 柴荣说：三武废费有我一份； 赵匡胤说：今年流行黄袍子 寇准说：带上瓶醋谈判去； 李刚说：保家卫国； 徽宗说：没保成； 钦宗说：我想回家； 金兀朱说：没门…… 赵构说：把姓岳的抓了； 岳飞说：我有何罪？ 秦桧说：也许有…… 陆游说：我要死了； 文天祥说：死得好，我为你喝彩！ 完颜说：金大； 耶律说：辽大； 成吉思汗说：大你个球！ 忽必烈说：亚欧大陆我说了算…… 朱元璋说：高筑墙； 建文帝说：孙承祖业； 朱棣说：我找我爹； 严嵩说：清史留字； 崇祯说：袁崇焕，你的良心大大地坏了…… 李自成说：歇会，找个小姐来； 吴三桂说：敢泡我老婆； 皇太极说：三桂是个好同志。 顺治说：爱江山更爱美人； 康熙说：江山好管儿子难教； 雍正说：说我狠，我就狠给你们看； 乾隆说：我爹是谁； 嘉庆说：和坤是我爹留给我的遗产…… 施耐庵说：天罡盖地煞； 罗贯中说：曹刘震河腰； 吴承恩说：全盘西化； 曹雪芹说：读书人的事能算淫么； 蒲松龄说：我是另类我怕谁？ 林则徐说：我销； 洪秀全说：我反； 康有为说：我变； 孙中山说：看我的。 慈禧说：木偶戏你当好演呀； 李连英说：有奴才伺候； 李鸿章说：九亿白银，小意思； 袁世凯说：窃国者为诸候？ 蒋介石说：共 党 未灭何以家为 毛 泽 东说：中华人民共和国，中央人民政府，成立了 Too bad I only know of a few of the people mentioned. Anyone kind enough to explain? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
冷清 Posted September 11, 2005 at 03:41 AM Report Share Posted September 11, 2005 at 03:41 AM 小平说：我改革 江主席说：我代表 胡书记说：我承前启后 冷清说：我狂倒：） Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zozzen Posted November 30, 2007 at 07:31 PM Report Share Posted November 30, 2007 at 07:31 PM This is possibly the most popular condensed history of China widely circulated in Chinese forums. Within five minutes you can grab the names of most important historical figures over 5000 years in China. Hope you enjoy! (Edit: Sorry! duplicated with the previous post. Thanks Roddy! ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roddy Posted December 1, 2007 at 12:00 AM Report Share Posted December 1, 2007 at 12:00 AM Merging with the identical(?) one posted two years ago. A link and some reasons to go read it would have been preferred to a bulk copy and paste Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bijian Posted February 7, 2010 at 01:10 PM Report Share Posted February 7, 2010 at 01:10 PM What's "爱江山更爱美人"? Thanks. 《爱江山更爱美人》 有什么意思？谢谢你。 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skylee Posted February 7, 2010 at 02:05 PM Report Share Posted February 7, 2010 at 02:05 PM When a monarch gives up the throne because of a woman, he is described as "不愛江山愛美人". Emperor Shunzhi, the first emperor of the Qing Dynasty (after taking over China) is said to have given up his throne to become a monk because his beloved consort 董小宛 died. (According to history he simply died of smallpox.) 愛江山更愛美人 (love the country but love the beautiful woman more) refers to this story. The description "不愛江山愛美人" is also used to describe King Edward VIII of the UK. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bijian Posted February 7, 2010 at 02:51 PM Report Share Posted February 7, 2010 at 02:51 PM Thanks for the informative reply! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bhchao Posted February 7, 2010 at 07:52 PM Report Share Posted February 7, 2010 at 07:52 PM When a monarch gives up the throne because of a woman, he is described as "不愛江山愛美人". Emperor Shunzhi, the first emperor of the Qing Dynasty (after taking over China) is said to have given up his throne to become a monk because his beloved consort 董小宛 died. (According to history he simply died of smallpox.) 愛江山更愛美人 (love the country but love the beautiful woman more) refers to this story. Emperor Tang Minghuang can be called 不愛江山愛美人 for giving up the throne for Yang Guifei, although he did not abdicate until the rebellion. Technically he still held the throne, but his heart had changed from governing the country to loving a woman. Figuratively speaking, he already gave up the throne. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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