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Questions regarding double weddings within the same year


BGONG

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Help!!! I am having a huge crisis in my life and i need some guidance from someone with a little more knowledge in the subject of Chinese weddings. Here's the situation. In Dec. of 2007 i recently got engaged and planned on having my wedding on Sept. 20th. During this time my brother was also engaged but had not set a time on when he was going to get married. Just today i found out that my parents and him had discussed and actually planned an August wedding w/o me knowing. Now his wedding is only going to be him and his fiance neither my family or her family is invited to there wedding. My biggest concern is the superstition surrounding double marriages within the same year. My fiance is filipino and her family had expressed to me that it is extremely taboo to have weddings in the same year in regards to immediate family. My family has countered by saying that in chinese culture this is very good luck and fortunate for both my brother and myself. As you probably already figured out there is a huge dilemma and my family and my fiances family is going to start off on the wrong foot which leads me to believe that double weddings is bad news already. Now from other sources i have some agreeing w/me and others not stating that chinese culture is for and against double weddings. Does anyone have proof or does anyone know if double weddings in a year are good or bad luck? Please i have already caused a huge ruckus w/ my family since they knew about my fiance's belief and i just need some clarification on whether my family is correct or incorrect.

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First of all, congratulations on both weddings, regardless of any complications!

Second, there might be a good solution. I don't know how set your wedding date is, but if you could postpone it a bit, you could actually make both families happy by marrying in January 2009. That's within the same year according to the Chinese lunar calendar, but in the new year according to the Western calendar (which I am assuming Filipinos use).

I hope you can work this out, it would be a pity to start off on the wrong foot this way.

Edit:

Just thought of another possible option. Not sure what it's like among Chinese in the Philippines, but in Taiwan and in China the wedding banquet (after which the family considers you married) is well after the official wedding (after which the gov't considers you married). If that doesn't make things overly complicated, you could perhaps split the two up (have the Chinese wedding this year for luck, and the Filipino one later on against bad luck); or your brother could have either of his weddings at another date.

Or

Convince your Filipino in-laws that since according to Chinese custom double weddings are good luck, and you & your brother are both Chinese, Filipino superstition doesn't apply for you and as long as your fiance's family doesn't have another marriage this year, everything will be fine.

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good or bad luck

I just got married last week. When dealing with my wife regarding our marriage or any other conflicts regarding some nonsensical superstition I ask her to please remember this is the 21st century, not the 11th or w/e, and that she is a university graduate who is supposed to be educated and not some countryside peasant girl, and shouldn't believe in such annoying baseless "ideas". can't do this, must do that, etc. or something totally unrelated and misfortunate will happen... you get the idea.

Needless to say this so far never works for me yet. Hahaha.

:mrgreen:

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