Married to a Chinese in the U.S.?

[bhchao]

I think the reason why there are so few "chinese male - euro female" relationships, is that chinese males are not physically attractive to euro women.

Whereas, vice versa for chinese women being very attractive to euro males.

Asian physical features are more feminine than euro features, and this also includes asian males. eg. lack of body hair, smaller stature, less macho overall.

This explains why asian men are not overly attractive to euro women , but asian women are very attractive to euro males.

I disagree with this. Many Asian women go for Caucasian partners because ethnic origin and physical features are not a factor for them in choosing a partner. As long as their personalities are compatible with each other. Many of the Asian women I seen have American-European husbands or boyfriends who are not at all physically attractive. In these kinds of relationships, I noticed there is a strong emotional chemistry. In an extension course I'm taking, there is a Korean lady with a Caucasian husband who is not physically attractive in the macho sense. He is skinny, average-looking, and has a mustache. But I can see why she chose him. He is a gentleman and is a very nice guy, and is well liked by everyone.

So personality and character triumphs over looks for many Asian women. Only the superficial women go for guys solely based on physical features. The same applies vice versa.

[nosferatu2083]

The reason for this is that the large majority of white and black american females are ugly as hell. No offence, but the number of good-looking nice girls in the states is really small. Additionally, although there are some beautiful girls, they either have horrible personalities or simply don't know how to present themselves well.

I totally disagree with the first part. There are attractive girls in every nationality. I know, because living in a culturally diverse place like Los Angeles, I have seen just about every nationality there is (no, I'm not a perv ). With the second part I agree. Girls here are b$#%#$.

[calibre2001]

A brief development of Oriental Asians on American TV

Grossly generalizing, here's what I just thought out:

Pre 60s - Asians are viewed as ' yellow', unscrupulous, untouchables. World War 2 propaganda further potrays Japs as evil, squirrel-looking monkeys. Watch the beginning scene in Breakfast at Tiffany's with the Jap guy to see what I mean. People those days laughed at him 'cause he seems like acts an absolute yet comedic buffoon.

60s-70s - The dawn and golden era of Asian martial arts. With the role of Kato, and several movies of his own, Bruce Lee single-handedly changed the role of oriental Asians from mere background characters to something much better. Asian men are viewed as dangerous " I may be tiny, but wait till you see what I can do' , less sexual ( but not so gooky) men.

80s-present - The devleopment of Asian men in the media stagnates with people like Jackie Chan, Jet Li carrying on the legacy of Bruce Lee. See the Vietnamese guy in Sixteen Candles. There is a sudden growth in the media status for Asian women. White male newscasters casted to read news alongside Asian females, Lucy Liu, Asian Bond women etc etc instantly 'upgrades' them to more front camera roles. The development of Asian men, on the other hand, remains as it was back in the same 70s in the west.

I'd probably would be flamed for this but feel free to positively criticize and contribute.

[gao_bo_han]

I am a white man married to an Asian American woman. What credibility this gives me to comment on this "phenomena" in general I don't know. I can however tell you my personal feelings about it.

I could care less that my wife is Asian American. Most of the girls I dated before meeting my wife were white, and I cared less about that too. Bhchao is correct, for me and probably for most others: ethnic origin is not a matter of importance. I am confused by the so-called "inferiority complex" theory. Do you people honestly think that an Asian female or male would make the decision to marry someone from the majority population merely to "fit in"? That they would deliberately seek out a white person, force themselves to love him/her, give themselves sexually, propose or seek proposal, marry this person, pledge to be with him/her through all the trials of life, and to endure them...poverty, pain, cancer...just to be viewed as "normal" (whatever that means). Does anybody really think this? Can your view on life possibly be so shallow? I am amazed that people who display otherwise a keen intelligence on this forum can be so incredibly stupid and superficial.

Sunyata, you were the one who came up with this half-baked theory, right? And you are also the same person who said that American women in general are not attractive to white men? Here's a little homework assignment for you. How many white men marry white women compared to the number who marry Asian women? If you can read a book or have any common sense whatsoever, you will see around you that either 1. you are gravely mistaken, or 2. white men marry white women even though they think they are ugly. Guess which one you are

Likewise Beijingbooty, concerning your theory. Are you saying that the overwhelming majority of Asian women who marry Asian men instead of white men, likewise consider their husbands weak and girlish? Perhaps you also are mistaken. Remember that socialization works both ways. If Asian men are typically less "macho" than white guys, perhaps that is because Asian women like it that way. Are you saying you married your wife because she is feminine? Fine...but I am sure you will agree that New Zealand has its own store of beauties who are plenty feminine enough for you, mate.

Another note about the tepid inferiority complex theory. Are you people saying that Asian women who marry Asian men are more secure? What evidence do you have to support this claim? As you are all apparently eager to use terms from pop psychology, let's see some real data instead of your ill-thought out conjectures.

People marry because they are in love and want to spend the rest of their days with the person that they have fallen for...not because their skin tone is different or their eyes a different shape. Whenever two different races live side by side, love is inevitable from both sides and genders, and ultimately some interracial marriage is going to happen. Get over it, you jealous peeps

[Jasper May]

I could care less that my wife is Asian American.

Couldn't.

Sorry, continue.

[beijingbooty]

OK, so after reading all these posts it would seem we can broadly summarize that the reason there are many more "asian female-euro male" realationships than vice versa is because of financial factors. ie. euro males are deemed to offer far better financial futures to asian women than asian men could offer euro females.

It would seem this reason is equally as shallow as physical attraction.

Not that that is a bad thing, it is merely a reflection of our society. We should be proud to be who we are as a human race.

[sunyata]

People marry because they are in love and want to spend the rest of their days with the person that they have fallen for...not because their skin tone is different or their eyes a different shape. Whenever two different races live side by side, love is inevitable from both sides and genders, and ultimately some interracial marriage is going to happen. Get over it, you jealous peeps

Jealous? yeah right.... There is at least a billion Asian women out there... When I see a white guy marrying one of them, it doesn't quite make me feel jealous (I don't know about other people though...) Neither am I in any way opposed to mixed marriages... You can't take everything on this board so personally...

I say - get over your own insecurity. If you are secure about your own marriage and you know you love each other, then why get offended? I was merely pointing out some possibilities for the phenomenon of Asian women dating white men and vice versa. I wasn't trying to say that people of two different races can't have feelings for one another...

As for white men and white women....I was talking about the US ONLY...Yes, I think a lot of the white women in the US are either ugly or don't know how to use their beauty to their advantage. That's why you get hot chicks working in strip clubs and in the porno industry...

If this was not so, why do so many Americans look for brides abroad? Why are white American men attracted to Asian women, if white women in the US are so gorgeous? There are simply not enough good-looking (marriage material) white women in the US, but this is all based on personal taste of course If you like them, that's fine too...In that case, US may be heaven for you, but sorry I just don't agree...

[sunyata]

It would seem this reason is equally as shallow as physical attraction.

Not that that is a bad thing' date=' it is merely a reflection of our society. We should be proud to be who we are as a human race.[/quote']

We should be proud to be shallow??

[Disenchant]

It would seem this reason is equally as shallow as physical attraction.

As least my conjecture stems from facts. Yours is more like chocolate-covered BS. How many people do you seriously know marry based on physical attraction? Breaking your reasoning down into its fallacious parts isn't even worth the time.

[badboy]

Bhchao is correct, for me and probably for most others: ethnic origin is not a matter of importance...Here's a little homework assignment for you. How many white men marry white women compared to the number who marry Asian women? If you can read a book or have any common sense whatsoever, you will see around you that either 1. you are gravely mistaken, or 2. white men marry white women even though they think they are ugly. Guess which one you are

Ethnic origin is not a matter of importance??? Hmm how many white males marry black women then?

Also, you compare the number of white men who marry white women to the number who marry Asian women. There a lot more white women in the US than there are Asian women, so your argument holds no water.

In 2002, there were 36 million blacks in the US, and only 11 million Asians. Look it up: http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0762156.html. And, the white population was 216 million or so.

Yet, I would bet there are a lot more white guys in the US married to Asian women, than black women. Stone-cold lock.

I'm white, my girlfriend is Chinese. She says white guys are more attractive than Chinese guys. No specifics given.

If you can read, period, you'll see that you are a) gravely mistaken, or B) gravely mistaken.

[gao_bo_han]

Hmm...holds no water, huh? Well, you bring up a good point about white women outnumbering Asian women, but your argument would only be correct if the number of white men marrying Asian women is disproportionate compared to the number who marry white women. Let's take a look at some numbers:

http://www.census.gov/population/socdemo/race/interractab1.txt

Well, unfortunately this table is greatly outdated, but the figures for 1980 show that 98% of all couple are same race couples...with 12.1 percent of the remaining 2% being black/white, and 18.2 percent being asian/white...and "other race" (probably hispanic) being a whopping 35.9%. The figures for 1992 still show 95.1% all couples in America are same race, though the details on that year are apparently not tabulated for all categories.

Now let's take a looksy at race in America today.

http://www.census.gov/acs/www/Products/Profiles/Single/2002/ACS/Tabular/010/01000US1.htm

It appears that Asians constitute about 24.44% of the nation at present, and unless those figures from 1992 have DRASTICALLY changed in 10 years...people, from all races, OVERWHELMINGLY choose to marry people of their same race. And when white people marry outside of their race, they are most likely to marry hispanics, and about as likely to marry blacks as they are asians (6% difference in 1980).

Now I can see why you are called "badboy"...you don't do your homework! That goes for you too sunyata

And ok, it does appear that of asian/white marriages, there are more white male/asian female than am/wf, and as for the reasons, who cares?! Of all the potential likes and dislikes in this world, preferring one race over another doesn't make one a criminal, does it?

If anyone can gather some more current data, please post it...I hate working with old numbers.

[sfr@rcn.com]

I don't know why I'm wading back into this topic, but here goes. I haven't done any research to back this up, but, given the two cultures we're discussing, perhaps a factor in the disproportionate wm/af figures is that men have more freedom to leave (or flout) their parents' sphere of influence. Women, even in China, are tied to their parents on a shorter leash. This is a vast generalization, I know, but FWIW.

Sandra

[badboy]

but your argument would only be correct if the number of white men marrying Asian women is disproportionate compared to the number who marry white women

I wasn't arguing that there is a disproportionate number of Asians married to whites. I was simply refuting your simplistic argument based on pure numbers. You did not state anything about proportion. Now, you change your statement and provide 20-year-old numbers to back them up. Gee, things couldn't have changed in that time could they?

It appears that Asians constitute about 24.44% of the nation at present

Per your link, total population was 280,540,330 in 2002. Multiply this by 24.44% gives 68,564,057. Asian population per your link is 11,213,133. Speaking of doing homework, looks like somebody needs to brush up on Grade 5 math.

[badboy]

And when white people marry outside of their race, they are most likely to marry hispanics, and about as likely to marry blacks as they are asians (6% difference in 1980).

Umm, not to rub it in, but...first of all, you are taking 18.2% less 12.1%. That is not a 6% difference, that is a 50% difference.

Secondly, you must factor in the population difference which appears to be a factor of 3 (3 times as many blacks as asians). So let's call it 18% vs. 4% (12.1%/3=4%). Which is a 350% difference.

Sorry, couldn't resist...

[sunyata]

hahaha - hillarious...

he tore you up into pieces, man

[gao_bo_han]

LOL.

Oh man, where to start.

I wasn't arguing that there is a disproportionate number of Asians married to whites

Well, ok, maybe not. But others on here are. I am getting the general impression that people here believe white men disproportionately marry outside their race. Sunyata, for example, believes that "so many" American men marry "foreign brides" because American women are ugly. I think the figures here have at least widely debunked that claim. White people marry white people...the limited figures from 1992 at least show us that 95% of all marriages are still same race. Seems like lots of white men must be married to ugly women, eh sunyata?

Umm, not to rub it in, but...first of all, you are taking 18.2% less 12.1%. That is not a 6% difference, that is a 50% difference.

True enough, if I were talking about the numerical difference between those two groups of people, which I wasn't. I was refering to the total number of whites who marry Asians as opposed to blacks. The difference between those groups only accounts for 6% of the whole. Likewise, hypothetically if there were like, I don't know, 120 eskimo/black couples and 40 eskimo/latino couples, then you could just as easily say that there are 200% more eskimo/black couples than eskimo/latino couples. But those numbers would not make sense in context, because the subset would be considerably less than 1% of the whole.

Secondly, you must factor in the population difference

Must I? I was not referring to the number of whites who marry asians as opposed to blacks with reference to population differences...I was referring only to the total number of marriages, without reference to population differences. Since you have so much time on your hand, how about you give us an entire breakdown of who is more likely to marry who, with reference to population differences AND gender differences. That ought to really bring this issue to light.

Looks like you got me on the Asian percentage thing...I knew it looked too high. Sorry, I crunch numbers all day, I'm bound to transpose my denominator/numerator sometime. But that's about all you got. Is that your idea of a slam sunyata? You must have low standards. I notice that you haven't been able to refute a single thing. Maybe you've abandoned your half-baked "American women are too ugly for American men to marry" theory? Where are all the white girls here? Don't let him get away with it ladies

[sfr@rcn.com]

>>Where are all the white girls here? Don't let him get away with it ladies

As far as I'm concerned, he's just trolling.

Sandra

[Meng Lelan]

Where are all the white girls here? Don't let him get away with it ladies

Here I am Gao-bo-han! Believe it or not I have been following this thread with great fascination and amusement. I'll let you take on the "American women are too ugly to marry" theory while I take on the "Asian men are too nerdy to marry" theory by mentioning that today's newspaper reported that singer Rita Coolidge just married an Asian man (Dr. Tatsuya Suda). And I do remember seeing a documentary a number of years ago about an American woman who taught English in Harbin and married a man from Harbin.

[sfr@rcn.com]

Meng Lelan--since Sunyata is arguing about numbers and since figures don't lie but liars figure, I thought I'd just watch him hoist on his own petard. (Two clichés in one sentence--not bad.) As for Asian men, if I had to pick the three handsomest of all the men I've known, they'd all be Asian and one of them would be one of my sons-in-law--beautiful (don't take that to mean effeminate; he's just beyond handsome), buff, strong, smart and street smart and a circus star.

As for ugly american women, I wonder what Sunyata looks like.

Sandra

[badboy]

posted by gao_bo_han:

Must I? I was not referring to the number of whites who marry asians as opposed to blacks with reference to population differences...I was referring only to the total number of marriages, without reference to population differences.

previously posted by gao_bo_han:

And when white people marry outside of their race, they are most likely to marry hispanics, and about as likely to marry blacks as they are asians (6% difference in 1980).

Here we go again. Don't know why I waste my time but this guy is so out to lunch it's unbelievable.

You said whites were "ABOUT AS LIKELY to marry blacks" as they are asians. Using the words "about as likely" means you WERE referring to the proportion. Quit bs'ing just to cover yourself.

And, even if you weren't referring to the proportion, but just pure numbers, your statement is completely wrong anyway. Either way you lose.

Look at it this way: Out of 1,000 mixed couples, 180 would be white/asian. 120 would be white/black. Last time I checked, 180 is 50% higher than 120. That is your definition of "as likely"?

Since you have so much time on your hand, how about you give us an entire breakdown of who is more likely to marry who, with reference to population differences AND gender differences.

Looks like you've written a lot more here than I have. Give it up dude.