Should I keep studying Chinese?

[SunDaYu]

I'm in a predicament...although I enjoy studying Chinese I don't think I will be able to come to China again.

I'm going to be in China for the next year and my girlfriend told me that I cannot go again unless she comes with me...problem is: she doesn't like China at all.

I really love this girl, but if I'm going to stay with her I probably can't come back to China. I mean, if you are not in China, then what's the use of knowing Chinese for any kind of profession? Almost all of my future plans involves coming back to China and if I stay with her then...I don't think I could.

Here's the other thing: I was really excited about going to China when I first left. But now that I'm here I'm not so happy. It could just be because I miss my girlfriend, but I'm getting the feeling that China just might not be the place for me, which sucks because it's my major and I have already invested a lot of money and time into here.

Is there any way to make use of your Chinese outside of China? Am I just wasting my time here?

[katyjo]

Why study Chinese?

1.You can use it in your work. Many professionals that provide service to the Chinese community (outside of Asia) have a nitch.

2.You pass it on to your children.

3. Chinese can be a hobby. You can would enjoy your vacations to Chinese speaking countries. Enjoy Chinese movies and books.

[HashiriKata]

It's a difficult question. To keep your interest in a language alive, you normally needs some kind of tie to it, be it physical, emotional or intellectual.

Is there any way to make use of your Chinese outside of China? Am I just wasting my time here?

I think so, but it depends very much on what you want and what you've got to offer. If your Chinese is very good, you can be a language teacher, an interpreter, translater, etc. A realistic expectation in my view is to consider Chinese language ability as something to enhance another skill that you're offering.

[flameproof]

Is there any way to make use of your Chinese outside of China? Am I just wasting my time here?

I think in business it is certainly a more compelling entry on your resume then inside China, were knowing Mandarin doesn't raise an eyebrow. There are plenty of opportunities, just keep your eyes open.

To keep your interest in a language alive, you normally needs some kind of tie to it, be it physical, emotional or intellectual.

emotional? I would say that in 98% of cases a Chinese GF does not help very much. In other ways, you need to have an Chinese related interest OUTSIDE the scope of learning which keeps you reading or listening Chinese.

[HashiriKata]

emotional? I would say that in 98% of cases a Chinese GF does not help very much.

Is a Chinese GF all you can think of when you hear of the word "emotional" ?

[flameproof]

Is a Chinese GF all you can think of when you hear of the word "emotional" ?

EasY mate, easy, let's not get into those details. This is not an adult topic forum.

(sure easy, not East...)

Edited June 7, 2009 at 02:24 PM by flameproof

[Music&MeForever]

East mate, easy, let's not get into those details. This is not an adult topic forum.

Why do I read racism in your adult usage of the word East ?

Don't you know there are Asian girls in the forum who might take it personally?

[imron]

Why do I read racism in your adult usage of the word East ?

Don't know. Most people probably would have read it as a typo for Easy. The sentence certainly makes more sense like that.

[Music&MeForever]

(°°;)?

Makes no difference still...

((((((^_^;)

[trien27]

Is there any way to make use of your Chinese outside of China? Am I just wasting my time here?

Of course. There's many Chinatowns across the United States[New York, Philadelphia, San Francisco, Boston, etc...]. Plus there's many overseas Chinese communities worldwide[Vietrnam, Thailand, Laos, Camodia, The Philippines, etc...].

[Lu]

SunDaYu: sure you can use Chinese outside of China. Plenty of companies that do business with China, language schools, translating work, government work, or for your free time: tv series, books, music, Chinese friends.

And I think there should be a way for you to come back, too. Not for an entire year, I can understand that your girlfriend doesn't want you two to be apart for that long, but in the future you can go for a few weeks every year, for example.

Good luck!

[self-taught-mba]

And maybe you do a project that involves Chinese suppliers or customers.

Also, maybe she doesn't like China today. But things might be different in 5 years or so. I think other cities might start to become like HK over time.

[renzhe]

I mean, if you are not in China, then what's the use of knowing Chinese for any kind of profession?

The kind of use that brings in $$$? Probably not much other than translating and dealing with suppliers.

It will still be cool because you will always have an extra culture to refer to, whenever you meet a Chinese person, see something written in Chinese, or do anything relating to China. There are books, films, TV, all sorts of interesting things that would otherwise remain inaccessible.

These things make it worthwhile for me. I've just finished reading several books that have never been translated into any of the other languages I speak. Same with some movies and TV shows that were excellent. For me, this is worth the investment.

Here's the other thing: I was really excited about going to China when I first left. But now that I'm here I'm not so happy. It could just be because I miss my girlfriend, but I'm getting the feeling that China just might not be the place for me

Perhaps China isn't really what you expected, and perhaps it's culture shock. How long have you been in China?

[flameproof]

Of course. There's many Chinatowns across the United States

That would be the very last place I would look. There will be an oversupply of people with that skill. I would look at US companies that want to, or have some involvement with China. There you can sell your skill at a higher price. I would talk to Chinese companies (in the US) at all (however, setting up connection for a Chinese company in the US is interesting too).

In short: there are plenty of opportunities at home.

[magnusgren]

To give a completely subjective answer to the question in your title:

From your post (with Chinese being your university major etc.) I take it you are somewhere in your early twenties, that is, young. Think well about what matters to you, and make a choice, rather than compromise.

Personally, I'd say pursuing your interest in Chinese properly, which would involve spending considerable time in China, is a much safer investment than a girlfriend. If she wants to you could spend some time here together, if she likes it, good, if not, too bad.

I don't believe much in taking some sort of middle way between the two.

Good luck!

[abcdefg]

Personally, I'd say pursuing your interest in Chinese properly, which would involve spending considerable time in China, is a much safer investment than a girlfriend. If she wants to you could spend some time here together, if she likes it, good, if not, too bad.

Having been around the block once or twice myself, I like the sober tone of magnusgren's remarks and basically agree with his "Dutch Uncle" advice. .

Plus I was unclear from the Original Post whether the girlfriend in question has ever visited China of just dislikes the idea of her fellow going there all alone, thinking he might stray away from her, etc. If indeed it boils down to an ultimatum like "We can't go together and you can't go alone," some tough decisions need to be made regarding just how much you are willing to give up to remain in such a restrictive relationship.

God, I hate sounding like Ann Landers or Dear Abby.

Edited June 8, 2009 at 03:51 AM by abcdefg

[Meng Lelan]

It could just be because I miss my girlfriend, but I'm getting the feeling that China just might not be the place for me, which sucks because it's my major and I have already invested a lot of money and time into here.

Let me tell you something, I was kind of in your similar situation when I was more your age. My then-fiance-now-ex-spouse was really into Spanish and Mexico. Just to make him happy I learned some Spanish which I hated and went to Mexico which I also hated. We fought the whole time we were in Mexico. Coming back to the US, I ended up in the major that made me the happiest - Chinese. But he had no interest in Chinese language and constantly made fun of the Chinese themselves in ways that I can't even print here.

The two of you have to be on the same page to make this work. If you want to be on the China page and she doesn't, this may be the deal breaker. If you feel like you had enough of the China page you're on, which sounds like it from what you wrote, then get on to a different page that your girl is on and try it and if you like it, then you're both on the same page, wonderful.

You've got important decisions to make right now, so think a long while on this.

[flameproof]

Should I keep studying Chinese?

Just one more point, if you stop reading you will forget a lot rapidly.

But I don't agree that you have to be in China. You can study everywhere.

[SunDaYu]

@Meng Lelan

That might be the case in the future. She said that if she had to choose between being without me at home or being with me in China then she would choose China. She has never been here, doesn't like 3rd world countries, doesn't like the language because of how it sounds, and doesn't like the culture.

She said that I "can do whatever I want," but I know it's going to make her unhappy. She told me that she is going to be depressed until I return and won't even go to school in the Fall because she is going to be unhappy.

I have been in China for half a year before, but I was in the middle of nowhere and got depressed. When I returned to the US I learned how much I really missed China. So now I'm back, in a much bigger city, and there is a lot of pressure here to study and make every moment count, but I am also getting pressure from my gf to spend any free moment with her. The result being that I am sleepy and exhausted all the time and all together too gloomy to talk to anyone. I have spent the past few days in my room studying or talking to her.

I also have trouble making Chinese friends. I don't know if I am just being too shy or something, but I can't seem to make any. I had this same problem before...

[renzhe]

She has never been here, doesn't like 3rd world countries, doesn't like the language because of how it sounds, and doesn't like the culture.

Then go to a first tier city like Beijing or Shanghai, or consider Taipei or Hong Kong. None of them really feel like a third world country, and all have a lively expat community.

If someone can't find something exciting to do in those cities, then it's not really an issue of not liking China, it's an issue of not liking anything other than the place you grew up. It doesn't sound like she knows enough about the language or culture to dislike them.

This could be a case of her not wanting to leave her friends and family and go somewhere else. And be alone the whole day in a place where she doesn't speak the language or know anyone. I think that if you want to resolve this satisfactorily, you'll have to speak honestly to each other and get to the bottom of things.