"Which part of China are you from?"

[abcdefg]

I made friends with a part-time 黑车 driver in Kunming, a housewife trying to supplement family income to meet the payments on their new car. For whatever reason we hit it off, exchanged phone numbers and so on.

 

Soon after, she and her husband invited me to dinner to meet their 7 year old daughter, who was struggling with her English. I helped the child a little, but really did nothing special. Continued calling mom every now and then for a ride somewhere. Her husband had a day job as an electrician at a factory.

 

They were from a small town in the west part of Yunnan, between Lincang 临沧 and Lancang 澜沧。 I had traveled that area and praised its rugged beauty. Her relatives back home made tea and honey.

 

She began bringing me seasonal honey from the region. When the 芒果 mango trees were in bloom, the local honey had that fragrance and taste; when the 枇杷 pipa trees (loquat) were blooming, the tea had the nose and mouth of pipa, and so on.

 

Was glad to have met those kind people, and the relationship grew out of a "Where are you from?" conversation.

 

 

 

 

[tysond]

Some touching stories from a simple question.

I would say Which Part Of China Are You From is one of the 4 Great Conversation Starters of China. It should be taught in textbooks right after the conversations about asking which country Anna is from.

[Francis101]

I also have had this problem! I typically ask 你来自哪里？I almost always get the 中国 response I then ask again with 哪一个城市? Does this come off as impolite at all? It is the work around I have found for dealing with this kind of frustration.

[Meng Lelan]

I think it's just because of the way '什么' can some across as abrupt and dismissive

 

Oh, but you have to do it with a nice big friendly smile which goes a long way in canceling out the abrupt and dismissive. 

[戴 睿]

你是中国那里人 and 你来自中国哪里 feels the most colloquial and natural while still keeping it specific to a prefecture, and not the entire Middle Kingdom.

[吳山。]

 

I would say Which Part Of China Are You From is one of the 4 Great Conversation Starters of China.

 

What are the other three?

[abcdefg]

What are the other three?

How much did your shoes cost?

How much is your salary?

How old are you?

 

Conversation starters here are often things that would be considered rather private and would never be used as ice breakers in the West. They often are things we would think rude between strangers.

 

Also sometimes get, "Do you like our spicy food?" (Yunnan)

"How much do cars cost in America?"

"How much are salaries in America?"

"Is it cold now in America?"

"Is the traffic this bad in America?"

 

These questions often reveal a fascination with economic issues. Others reveal a profound lack of understanding of places outside one's own back yard. Cannot count how many times I have patiently explained that the US is large, just like China, and it can be warm in the south while it is cold in the north. ("It may be snowing in Harbin when it is balmy in Hainan.")

 

Westerners who are new to China may arrive with silly stereotypical notions of what China is like ("everyone lives on rice" for example,) but average unsophisticated Chinese have notions of the West that are just as silly ("everyone lives on beefsteak and bread.")

 

To have much of a conversation in China, you must develop the ability to quickly move beyond the standard "starters" onto subjects of substance that have mutual interest. Then you have a chance to become friends.

[吳山。]

 

What are the other three?

How much did your shoes cost?

How much is your salary?

How old are you?

 

Brilliant, I should have guessed this. I was the first ever foreigner at my school in Anhui and it would hardly be an exaggeration to say I was asked a hundred questions a day by my colleagues, most of which revolved around $$$. The price of practically everything I own here has been the subject of breathless debate at one time or another.

There is also, I think, a fifth question which eternally preoccupies the soul of Chinese civilization... how many beers can you drink?

[Tianjin42]

I'll add to that a question I receive a lot:

"What do you think of China?"

Usually quickly followed by something like:

"We have a long history, no?"

[JustinJJ]

Conversations often involve around what are the differences between Chinese and Westerners. The difference in their view is often that we all go AA制 (e.g. men will always pay the bill, women will never pay otherwise men will lose face), and that Chinese will shout their friends/dates when they go out. I'll then try to correct the misconceptions that we always split the bill, that parents will split the bill with their children and that all parents will charge children rent when they reach 18. This seems to really surprise people. I always ask if Chinese people of Western people told them about our customs and they always say Chinese people.

[tysond]

These are all questions Chinese people ask of foreigners.

But, to keep in step with the original posting, we should consider the best questions for foreigners to ask Chinese. 

 

If you read How to Win Friends and Influence People, we learn that people are most interested in talking about themselves.  You can then, as @abcdefg points out, find points of common interest.  

 

So, in my opinion the Four Great Conversation Starters in China are:

 

1. What part of China do you come from?

2. What is your name and what do the characters mean?

3. What kind of food do you like (can link to #1)?

4. Do you watch 非诚勿扰?

 

Source: my hairdresser.  

Seriously though, @tooironic has a great list here:  http://carlgene.com/blog/2010/06/100-english-and-chinese-conversation-topics/