Proof read of my Chinese text please?

[limari]

Hi, I am studying for my final exam on Chinese in Germany.

I wrote a Chinese text to practice my writing skills and it would be great if you could tell me about any mistakes I made.

Thank you

 

 

力克是一个中学学生。他主在上海。

他的爱好是唱和画画儿。力克常常要做爱好。

因为他的父母觉得他应该学课文,他很慢。

两个星期以后力克考过汉语。他考好！现在他可以唱和画画儿。
所以他的父母觉得他能做好工作。

 

It is supposed to say:

Like is a high school student. He lives in Shang Hai.

His hobbies are singing and painting. Like would like to to his hobbies very often.

Since his parents think he needs to study for his chinese test, he is very busy.

Two weeks later he wrote his chinese test. He was very good! Now he can sing and paint.

For that reason (being good at the test) his parents think he will get a good job.

[dwq]

主 is wrong for live.

唱 is not used as a noun.

爱好 is something you have (有), not something you do (做), so you need to find another way to say it.

学课文 is not exactly 'study for his chinese test'.

慢 is wrong for busy.

考过 is awkward after 以后.

You need something between 考 and 好.

做好工作 means he already have a job and does it well, not 'get a good job'.

The placement of 现在他可以唱和画画儿。 makes 所以 confusing. See, you have to explain it in the translation as well.

[limari]

Thanks a lot I've changed everything I could but I'm not sure if it's correct now.

And I didn't know how to change: "考过 is awkward after 以后.".

Anyway this is what I've got so far

 

 

力克是一个中学学生。他住在上海。
他的爱好是唱歌儿和画画儿。力克常常要时间有爱好。
因为他的父母觉得他应该学课文,他很忙。
两个星期以后力克考过汉语。他考很好！
所以他的父母觉得他能找到好的工作。
因为他现在有多的时间，他可以唱和画画儿。

[Zhyphei]

Hey there, 

 

I suggest checking out the website: http://lang-8.com/

 

Basically you can post anything you want there and get it corrected by a native speaker for free.

[Tatarik]

You could try Lang-8

[dwq]

You fixed the first 唱 but not the second.

要 is need, not want / would like to.

When I said you need another way to say it, I mean you'll need to rewrite it like "He'd like to spend time on his hobbies often." or "He'd like to do those things he likes often." Right now your sentence sounds like "He often needs time have hobbies." which isn't correct in English either.

You still need something between 考 and 很好. Think 他吃了十個麵包，吃 _ 很飽。

We usually don't say 多的 by itself. 很多(的)時間 or 更多(的)時間 would be more natural.

Regarding 考过，it is usually in response to "Have you ever...?" type of questions. Just like you'd usually say "Have you ever done this _before_?" in English, it is awkward to try to construct something like "Have you ever...two weeks later?" I think 考了 should work better in your sentence.

[Lu]

Not bad all in all! A few remarks below. Two things that don't work in your text go wrong not because of your Chinese, but because of the way you've built up the story, so you may have to change a few things.

力克是一个中学学生。 Consider 力克是中学生。

他住在上海。 good

他的爱好是唱歌儿和画画儿。 good

力克常常要时间有爱好。 Consider leaving this sentence out altogether, or write something different. It's a bit redundant and even in English it's hard to say it in a way that sounds natural. Perhaps 力克喜欢每天唱歌、画画儿。

因为他的父母觉得他应该学课文,他很忙。 Consider 做功课 (do his homework) or 念书 (study)

两个星期以后力克考过汉语。 It's a bit weird to have 'two weeks later' here: two weeks after what? Living in Shanghai and liking to sing are ongoing things. You can say 两个星期以后，力克就考汉语考试, but if you don't change the timeline that still looks confusing.

他考很好！ Add a 得: 考得好 (or 考得很好)

所以他的父母觉得他能找到好的工作。 ok

因为他现在有多的时间，他可以唱和画画儿。 Consider 有很多时间.

[Sinolingua]

力克是一个住在上海的高中生。

他的爱好是唱歌和画画，Like would like to to his hobbies very often(What does this sentence mean?).

因为他的父母认为他应该为了通过汉语考试而努力学习，所以他很忙。

两周以后他通过了汉语考试，并且取得了好成绩，现在他可以有时间唱歌和画画啦！

他的父母认为他会找到一个好工作，因为他的成绩很好。