Learn Chinese in China
angelsallaround

China changed/ruined my life!?

14 posts in this topic

Four years ago I decided to leave my school in China after suffering with depression to the point where I felt trapped in a disingenuous school in a country i loved yet feared. There were many reasons over a prolonged period of time why but most were the legitimacy and general behavior of the school towards all staff. Prior to this job I had taught internationally for twelve years so knew a dodgy job when I saw one.

When the day came my resignation meeting was very quickly turned into a disciplinary hearing by them where I was berated for about thirty minutes before being told that if I left they would contact police and share their concerns about my behavior and wanting to break contract. I went home, sobbed a bit and wrote a resignation letter which was accepted/acknowledged at least before leaving about 3 minutes later on a plane. A wise decision on reflection and I wasn't the first or last one to receive similar treatment and threats. A terrifying time for me personally. 
 

I have spent the past four years of my life turning down international jobs I have applied for but then lost the courage to accept as I have this overwhelming fear the China thing might crop up and at worst i'm on some list for breaking contract, or committing a crime I didn't commit. I guess my question is how can I know I'm not on some list somewhere and how can I get over this? Surely others have stories like this right? This has affected me and my families lives for four years now. How can I know everything is in a country I have no intention of ever going back to!xXx
 

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Thank you and of course...... I know this truly in my heart and must move forward. My major concern is simply after all this time I guess I convinced myself that they may have made up lies to police About anything they do wished as they threatened to us and other teachers. We haven't heard anything of course but always a worry. It really shook my confidence. 

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what happens in China stays in China ;) Mostly.

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9 hours ago, angelsallaround said:

My major concern is simply after all this time I guess I convinced myself that they may have made up lies to police About anything they do wished as they threatened to us and other teachers.

Possibly. And possibly this particular school in this particular place have a good relationship with the local police. Generally I think it would be wise to not return to that school, and perhaps also not to that city and the immediate vicinity. You probably wouldn't get in trouble even then (it was a long time ago and they're not going to care that much. You were a teacher who years ago displeased them a bit, not their mortal enemy whom they're going to wage a lifelong vendetta against), but it's probably better to avoid these people.

 

Apart from that, the world is your oyster. Sure you can run into trouble, there are no guarantees. But your China experience won't follow you, I'm sure of that. Good luck, and have a great time!

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Thank you. This is very reassuring. I hope I get the confidence to get this thing done and move away again. I gave up my career over something so stupid. 

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You did the right thing getting out of that toxic workplace.  They were messing with your mind, trying to beat you down.  Get out there and go for doing what you love to do.  There are good people everywhere.   There are jerks, too, but they don't matter.

 

When I was starting out in my career, I hit a couple of snags that left me without work for a while.  It was discouraging, but I eventually found work in my field again.  Don't give up.  My incident happened 35 years ago.  If any boss tries to flip me any crap, I'm at the age where retirement is an option.  I can walk out and never look back.  Hang in there.  This will also be your reward when you stick it out for the long term.

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Thank you all, this means a lot. I have offers from Russia and France. Russia is double the pay and a more exciting country for me, a better school too generally but..........visa.
Should I make my life easier and take a lesser job just to avoid any visa bother? 

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Only you can make that choice, but if you're interested in living in Russia, I think you should at least try. Visa hassle is the kind of hassle that can be resolved with determination and throwing lots of paper at it (assuming of course that the job and the school are legit and will give you all the necessary papers). I think you should go for the more exciting option now, because often, as we get older we have less and less interest in doing difficult things (like living in Russia). If you wish to live in Russia at some point, and you have an opportunity to do so now, you should go for it. You can always try and go to France at some later point.

 

Good luck!

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11 hours ago, angelsallaround said:

Should I make my life easier and take a lesser job just to avoid any visa bother? 

 

Oh yes, by all means. Always take the easiest, safest course in life. If you follow your dream, you might incur some bother; you might get a few little bumps and scratches. That would be terrible; that would be the end of the world.

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15 hours ago, angelsallaround said:

Should I make my life easier and take a lesser job just to avoid any visa bother? 

 

How did you pickup courage to go to another country in the first place? To be honest, given you said you got depressed and negative (dare-I-say) overreactions after that, taking a lesser job may be better for your psychological well being. You might not be the sort of personality who can take a negative experience, get over it and use it to learn for the future. And in that scenario, staying small and safe is indeed a better option. 

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After a traumatic experience such as the one you experienced in China, it could be useful to build back confidence gradually - so start with something a little easier then work up to more difficult things later.

 

Full disclosure: I live in France and have no special interest in Russian language or culture.

 

 

 

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5 hours ago, abcdefg said:

Oh yes, by all means. Always take the easiest, safest course in life. If you follow your dream, you might incur some bother; you might get a few little bumps and scratches. That would be terrible; that would be the end of the world.

 

People have different tolerances and preferences when it comes for adventure.

Some people have no problem shleping a ring across Middle Earth to Mordor whereas other people would think "blimy that's dangerous" and stay home for their second breakfast.

 

I might be the size and have the looks of an Ogre but my inner hobbit says there is nothing wrong with playing it safe.

 

And now for something completely different from Monty Python.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bK6hFk8jtvo

 

 

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