绿茶婊 Green Tea Bitch

[david387]

So someone taught me this word yesterday, and the pleco dictionary says it means:

"green tea bitch", a girl who seems innocent and charming but is actually calculating and manipulative

 

Now I have a friend of more than a year who I often communicate with about all sorts of things including internet slang, etc. Yesterday, I wrote to her

绿茶婊

She replied

你发错了

...and immediately blocked me! OMG. I think maybe there are some other issues at play here, as I have a good reputation, etc. But of course I was very surprised, but I will be fine.

 

Have you seen this word before? What is your impression of how it is used?

 

Is always negative? Or could it also indicate someone that is cunning or similar? By the Pleco definition, I read it as a women who uses her charm to prevail in a variety of situations, and that is not entirely negative.

[Tomsima]

oops, yes it is always negative...

[Wurstmann]

1 hour ago, david387 said:

Is always negative? Or could it also indicate someone that is cunning or similar? By the Pleco definition, I read it as a women who uses her charm to prevail in a variety of situations, and that is not entirely negative.

I mean, it has 婊 in it..

[david387]

6 minutes ago, Wurstmann said:

I mean, it has 婊 in it

I see. Though I have studied Chinese 4-5 years, I have studied very little slang, and now I know 婊. Too bad about my friend. I know I have a good heart, but at least at present, no way to apologize.

[roddy]

There should be some sort of rule: "If you haven't heard it used ten times, don't use it."

[somethingfunny]

Can't have been that good a friend if she blocked you without asking for an explanation...

[david387]

13 minutes ago, somethingfunny said:

Can't have been that good a friend if she blocked you without asking for an explanation...

I think maybe she has some other issues, and yes, a good friend will accept you even when you make mistakes.

 

1 hour ago, roddy said:

There should be some sort of rule: "If you haven't heard it used ten times, don't use it."

At least 5, yes, good advice.

[anonymoose]

That is one argument for learning all the rude words first in a second language - you'll know what NOT to say.

 

When I started learning Chinese, I asked a female colleague what 牛鞭 meant. Unnecessary embarrassment caused.

[imron]

5 hours ago, david387 said:

"green tea bitch", a girl who seems innocent and charming but is actually calculating and manipulative

Watch the film 《撒娇女人最好命》to see examples of how this is used and what sort of person uses it on what sort of person.

[DavyJonesLocker]

9 hours ago, david387 said:

I see. Though I have studied Chinese 4-5 years, I have studied very little slang, and now I know 婊. Too bad about my friend. I know I have a good heart, but at least at present, no way to apologize.

 

Sorry for being blunt dude but she sounds childish, and just had a tantrum. She knows your a foreigner so often might make a language mistake . She will probably unblock you after she calms down and if she doesn't, then she didn't think of you as a good friend. 

 

A half way mature person would have called you out on your inappropriate  language, get annoyed but  not block you. 

 

I think in general the negative comments (but meant in a playfull way) towards Chinese  on wechat can often be interpreted as quite offensive , whereas in  English or with western people it's often just seem as playful teasing. Certainly when I post on wechat moments the comments between western friends and Chinese ones is often stark at times. 

[Bibu]

16 minutes ago, DavyJonesLocker said:

n  English or with western people it's often just seem as playful teasing.

This is possible between  Chinese people, the 老铁,  true and very few friends. Even with that, you can  not make mistakes when your buddy  feeling not well. As a true buddy, you should know he/she is not feeling good at the moment, and how can a true buddy hurts at the very moment?

 

For Chinese-foreigners, I would suggest never make mistakes....

[david387]

2 hours ago, DavyJonesLocker said:

 

A half way mature person would have called you out on your inappropriate  language, get annoyed but  not block you. 

There is definitely more to this story that I haven't shared, but there may be some truth to what you said. You don't know me, but I think among people who know me, they know I have a good heart and I would never purposely try to be mean to someone. That being said, I like to make jokes and have fun. Occasionally I put my foot in my mouth, but I would have thought a good friend would know that by now.

[DavyJonesLocker]

1 hour ago, david387 said:

There is definitely more to this story that I haven't shared, but there may be some truth to what you said. You don't know me, but I think among people who know me, they know I have a good heart and I would never purposely try to be mean to someone. That being said, I like to make jokes and have fun. Occasionally I put my foot in my mouth, but I would have thought a good friend would know that by now.

 

I do too a LOT but the key point is as you mentioned David,  the intention behind the whats being said rather than  the actual words are important. Most people can see that. Also as you said as you know someone you can tell what their character is like after a while.

 

When I piss someone off (especially woman) i usually get a "I don't want to talk to you for the rest of that day, go away" response. Is this lady young? Many of us were a bit hot headed in our younger days. 

 

 

[david387]

32 minutes ago, DavyJonesLocker said:

When I piss someone off (especially woman) i usually get a "I don't want to talk to you for the rest of that day, go away" response. Is this lady young? Many of us were a bit hot headed in our younger days. 

 

 

(50左右, blocked is blocked）

Well, I've thought about this a bit now and I can't control how another person reacts to me. I can only try to keep improving myself each day, and try to be thoughtful toward others. But I know I'm committed to learning Chinese so I will keep working on that.

[Lu]

13 hours ago, david387 said:

I think maybe she has some other issues, and yes, a good friend will accept you even when you make mistakes.

I think maybe this was far from the first mistake you made with her. Make sure you do thorough research before using new words on people. Sounds like you have other friends, fortunately for you.

[roddy]

She's around 50 and didn't take kindly to you sending random bits of Internet slang? Play social Russian roulette, you're going to get shot in the head now and then. 

 

I think there's a not-particularly-wise tendency for learners to reach for the slang on the assumption that it's authentic and how people really talk. And it is, but it's also hugely variable across age groups and class and place and has to be used with caution. 

 

 

[murrayjames]

1 hour ago, roddy said:

I think there's a not-particularly-wise tendency for learners to reach for the slang on the assumption that it's authentic and how people really talk. And it is, but it's also hugely variable across age groups and class and place

 

This is true even of slang words that are not likely to cause offense.

 

When I first moved to China in 2010, I discovered that 你好吗 is used less frequently as a greeting than beginner textbooks suggest. While seemingly everyone said 你好, some of my younger Chinese friends greeted each other with 怎么样. So I tried using 怎么样 as a greeting too, with a middle-aged acquaintance.... and his response was confused silence.

 

It can take a while to learn how new words are used.

[roddy]

Yeah. Ideally you'll end up not being over-anything, but you're better off being over-formal than over-familiar, I feel. 

[Shelley]

I think you need to consider the fact that if you are just typing and are not there in person to add the smile in the voice, the small laugh and the twinkle in the eye even the funniest of jokes can go down like a lead balloon.

 

What you can get away with in person and just using text can be a vast gully.

[david387]

Hindsight is 20/20, but I'm pretty sure I will work this out. Fortunately, I am pretty good with people and it's rare that I make a faux pas like this.