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Anybody get frustrated that you aren't doing more with your chinese?


PerpetualChange

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I've been studying for 10+ years and I occasionally bump up against this... I simply have no practical use for my Chinese abilities. It sure is a fun and rewarding hobby most of the time but I don't use it for work, I don't have any Chinese friends or family in my immediate vicinity, and there are no other interactions in my daily life which would require me to use it much at all. I like Chinese movies and novels but again there are few I know who share those interests. 

 

I guess it is strange to think this way because there are plenty of people who speak Chinese far better than I do and aren't doing anything with it. There are people who have been bilingual since birth and are quite happy to have jobs, friendships, and hobbies that don't require them to use Chinese. I don't know why I feel like because I have been studying it for so long and have some degree of proficiency, I should be doing something more with it...

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If that's how you feel, then maybe that's something worth pursuing? Why not do something with it after all? Join a local meet-up or something, you can use it to socialise or enjoy cultural events. I dunno your particular situation but one thing I've done this semester at University is seek out Mandarin language clubs. If it bothers you that you're not using it more, then find excuses to use it more. Socialising isn't a time-waste despite how we often feel about "being productive" these days.

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3 hours ago, NinKenDo said:

Join a local meet-up or something, you can use it to socialise or enjoy cultural events

This could be a factor. I am probably just missing out on that community that I had before the pandemic. A lot of it went online and I just couldn't get into it anymore. But now that things are coming back I'll keep my eyes peeled.

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Yeah, I suppose I left that unsaid but part of the reason I need to find clubs to socialise is that almost all of my social life is in tatters thanks to almost 15 months straight being in some stage of lockdown (I'm in Melbourne). On the flip-side it does present me an opportunity to look at the kind of social life I want to have and take steps to realise it, rather than just going with the flow which so often leads to hanging out with the same people, doing the same things.

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I have to say I have felt the same way - despite the fact that my professional life requires daily use of Chinese, I still really miss being in the hustle bustle of China, surrounded by potential conversations with all sorts of people from all walks of life. I particularly miss hearing local dialect, which I find so much more rewarding than the rather stark requirements of professional putonghua. I've actually started considering signing up for some speaking courses online until we can go back to China, just to open a dialogue back up.

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On 7/25/2021 at 7:51 PM, PerpetualChange said:

I've been studying for 10+ years and I occasionally bump up against this... I simply have no practical use for my Chinese abilities. It sure is a fun and rewarding hobby most of the time but I don't use it for work, I don't have any Chinese friends or family in my immediate vicinity, and there are no other interactions in my daily life which would require me to use it much at all. I like Chinese movies and novels but again there are few I know who share those interests. 

I suppose real social interaction has affected people all over the world.

I think that this probably is main thing, here in bold. I suspect you aren't too keen on online interaction from your writing here, but you can use it!  

I'm sure you can find people online groups etc, with similar interests. It takes time, but from Hellotalk, I met a few people then in WeChat met more people, and eventually find some people with similar interests. 

I'm still new student, I can read to about hsk 3/4 level, and write to about hsk 3 level, and can barely talk at all, or listen... it's very hard to find friends at this level, but with your level, you can search so many more groups. 

 

edit to add:

I don't know where you are, but in UK and probably most places opening up a bit more, so definitely look to more live groups, if you can find.

 

 

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7 hours ago, 大块头 said:

Before the pandemic I taught a weekly basic English class at my local senior center for Chinese-speakers, which was pretty rewarding.

also I love this idea. I would like to do this. 

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I have occasionally felt this frustration, but most of it comes from other people, directed at me. Especially when engaging in small talk, when somebody realizes I'm interested in Chinese. "Why would you ever want to learn Chinese?" "How do you plan to use it?" "Why haven't you already learned how to speak it?" "Why is it taking so long?" "Without immersing yourself in China, how do you ever hope to succeed?" My country (the USA) is infamous for its resistance to learning languages--most of us only know English. Most people around the world have to learn 2 or even 3 languages. So most people I meet don't really understand or appreciate the language learning process, what to expect, etc. And to be quite honest, that was me in the beginning of my Chinese learning process. I not only didn't know Chinese, but I didn't know what I didn't know about Chinese, if that makes sense. :) I had all these naïve ideas about how/when I would get "fluent."

 

I'm personally not a pragmatic person. If I had to determine that Chinese was "useful" to me before learning it, I never would have begun. For me, personal enjoyment and growth (with a vague sense that someday it will become "useful") keep me going. I like to feel that slow, month-over-month improvement in reading and listening. I have one Chinese friend who has been with me in this process, and there are very large pockets of Chinese people living in the nearby university town. My wife (a violin teacher) has a lot of Chinese clients. So there's some promise of meaningful interaction there. My son participated in a Chinese immersion summer camp a while ago, and it was great to understand the teachers (though they speak in a clear, slow manner for the children, who are likely around an HSK 3/4 level).

 

I'm 5 years into the process overall (4 of those years have been consistent/serious). I've focused mostly on reading, and some on listening, and I think once I reach the 5 year mark (Fall 2022), I will take a deep breath, gather my courage, and start talking to online tutors. I've already had some online conversation with my Chinese friend, but oh my, my spoken Chinese is barely at "survival" level. I can get out most basic ideas, but I sound silly.

So when I'm confronted with the question, "Are you frustrated that you aren't doing more with your Chinese?" I just awkwardly answer, "Well....I'm still working on it!"

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8 hours ago, Woodford said:

I have occasionally felt this frustration, but most of it comes from other people, directed at me. Especially when engaging in small talk, when somebody realizes I'm interested in Chinese. "Why would you ever want to learn Chinese?" "How do you plan to use it?"

Yeah same experience here. I might be a tad too self-conscious, but I got to the point that I generally refrain from saying publicly that I study Chinese, because I know most of the times people do not understand and I'll get myself in a very awkward conversation.

It is completely absurd for me to see that people appreciate other people for dedicating thousands of hours in activities like playing videogames, collecting stamps or polishing the bonnet of a car to a shine, without reservations, but they can't understand why you would want to learn a language.

 

My conclusion is that people react well and don't question what they are familiar with in a way that doesn't necessarily make sense, and that we shouldn't waste too much time in finding a justification for whatever we want to do in our life with our time. 

 

 

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57 minutes ago, matteo said:

It is completely absurd for me to see that people appreciate other people for dedicating thousands of hours in activities like playing videogames, collecting stamps or polishing the bonnet of a car to a shine, without reservations, but they can't understand why you would want to learn a language.

This is only from my limited observation but I think it has less to do with learning languages and more to do with the fact that the language we are learning is Chinese. If you live in English speaking countries (not sure about other western countries), interest in Chinese language and culture is a very niche market and people really don't care about it so as soon as you mention Chinese or China they wish the conversation would end. The reason why I say this is because I can see people's reaction when I told them I'm learning Chinese v I'm learning Japanese or Korean. I think because we haven't seen yet Chinese wave in the west like how Japanese and Korean culture has experienced so general public understanding and interest in Chinese culture is very very low.

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I'll just say this. While I'm sure I was eventually encounter one, I have not once received a negative response to letting someone know/someone finding out that I study Chinese. People are usually either mildly impressed, or very, very interested to know about it. I'm guessing the circles I mix in might be a little self-selecting sometimes, but I don't live in a bubble by any stretch. I'm honestly a little bemused about some of the stuff people are saying in this thread. I've never experienced anything like it.

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When I was first learning Chinese and going back and forth a lot between Texas and the Chinese Mainland, I made a point of saying a few words to a newly arrived Dr. Wen who was working in my hospital, but in a different department. I rolled out a couple of my best ice-breaker phrases that I had learned for "getting-to-know-you" situations. He was clearly puzzled, but replied in Chinese with something appropriate. Then followed with, "But of course I'm actually from Burma." His family and his family name 温 had been part of a Chinese diaspora to Burma in the late 19th century. Made the same mistake a few months later with another presumably Chinese colleague named Wen who turned out to actually be surnamed Nguyen and was from Saigon. But no harm done either time. 

 

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2 hours ago, NinKenDo said:

I'll just say this. While I'm sure I was eventually encounter one, I have not once received a negative response to letting someone know/someone finding out that I study Chinese.


I wouldn't say that the responses have ever been 100% negative. It's been like, "Oh, wow! Chinese! That sounds hard. Why do you want to learn that?" Much of the time, it's a polite, even if awkward, response. I certainly understand that Chinese can be a very niche hobby, and very few people in my part of the world would be interested in it. Therefore, it becomes a pretty big discussion stopper. A "non-starter," socially speaking. "Huh...that's cool. What else do you do with your free time?" That sort of thing. Even the topic of China itself is a non-starter. Although it dominates the American news, many people I know wouldn't be able to tell you who Xi Jinping is, for instance. That just isn't where people's attention is focused, unless it's their job to be informed about China.

 

On the flip side, most Chinese people I meet are thrilled about these topics, for obvious reasons. :) 
 

 

6 hours ago, matteo said:

Yeah same experience here. I might be a tad too self-conscious, but I got to the point that I generally refrain from saying publicly that I study Chinese, because I know most of the times people do not understand and I'll get myself in a very awkward conversation.

It is completely absurd for me to see that people appreciate other people for dedicating thousands of hours in activities like playing videogames, collecting stamps or polishing the bonnet of a car to a shine, without reservations, but they can't understand why you would want to learn a language.


That totally resonates with me! And yes, during most social events with my fellow Westerners these days, I'm usually a bit quiet about my Chinese study.

It is indeed interesting to see how people value and use their time/effort. I'm approaching maybe 5,000 hours spent on Chinese, and I, too, have to stop and ask, "Is it worth it?" My conclusion is still "yes." As you mentioned, we spend thousands of hours doing other things, too, without giving it any thought. I figure that at least a few times in my short life, I want to invest a chunk of time to do something interesting and unique.

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I'm also quite amazed to read some of the comments saying people don't like Chinese coming up in conversation. Here in the UK it feels like there is more of a collective shame (maybe too strong a word to describe it) that most of us are brought up as monolingual English speakers. When people find out I speak Chinese their eyes often light up and they might say something like 'I've always wanted to learn a language'.

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I definitely never come across people who shows negative reaction but a bit more like @Woodford said just a bit of disinterest, lack of knowledge or just "oh wow that's so cool, I heard it's hard (but lets talk about other topics)." which is really a far cry from negative reaction. 

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The only kind of awkwardness I've had in the UK a couple of times is talking to people who have one Chinese-speaking parent but never learned Chinese themselves. And it's only awkward beacuse they both sort of beat themselves up about never learning the language. Or have the kind of exaggerated wow-that's-special but-also-genuinely-interested reaction that is normal enough in China but not elsewhere. In the UK the reaction generally is more like if you'd say you were training to become an Olympic Taekwondo champion. Bit niche, I should probably know if that's the kicking one or the wrestling one, sounds like a lot of work, I should really do more exercise myself you know, good luck to you buddy.

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On 7/27/2021 at 6:15 AM, Woodford said:

My country (the USA) is infamous for its resistance to learning languages--most of us only know English.

As well as it should be.  An entire enormous continent-sized nation speaking a common language is a tremendous advantage.  Look at all the problems Canada has, and they have only two languages.  Heck, why do you think the CPC made Mandarin a standard?  It was to give a Tower of Babel of a country a common language, so they could speak to each other, understand the laws, create commerce, even love.  Monolingual speakers are a titanic achievement.  

 

普通话 - putonghua - it literally means "the common language".  It was long the dream of Esperanto to unite the entire planet under a single tongue.  How can anyone say that being able to communicate with everyone is something to be ashamed of?  ?

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7 minutes ago, vellocet said:

How can anyone say that being able to communicate with everyone is something to be ashamed of?

 

Knowing English *and* another language wouldn't make Americans able to communicate with *fewer* people, just as it wouldn't for Chinese people who also learn English.

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