100 Best Chinese Insults (Captain Obvious™ content warning: will contain profanity)

[Mouseneb]

傻蛋

[Kenny同志]

I added all your others, but I don't think this is an insult, it's just an intensifier or an expletive. If you shout “妈的！”, you're not insulting anyone, you're expressing annoyance or anger.

 

Hmm, you're right. 

[Demonic_Duck]

“我操你祖宗十八代！”

 

Oddly specific number of generations.

[Mouseneb]

Somebody has to say it, right? malagebi?

[Demonic_Duck]

麻辣隔壁 - hot and numbing next-door neigbour?

 

My next one: “绿茶婊”.

[Kenny同志]

此时洞外却又传来一阵笑声。

 

“谁？”田伯光道。

 

那声音却依旧在洞外大笑，并不回答。

 

田伯光怒道：“岂有此理！三番四次的坏我好事！你到底想怎么样？”

 

那声音仍是大笑。

 

田伯光大怒：“好，我今天不杀了你，我就不姓田！”

 

说着便往洞口追去。
仪琳不由松了口气，却见一阵风吹过，之前的光亮被吹熄了，又紧张起来。
正在此时，洞口的树丛被人拨开，朦胧的光影斑驳中，一个人影闪了进来，正是令狐冲。

 

仪琳心中一紧：“你…你别过来呀！”

 

黑暗中，仪琳看不清那人的面容，却听得并不是田伯光，而是另外一个声音：“我是来救你的！那个死淫贼点了你什么穴道？”

 

仪琳道：“胸口两边的肩井穴。”令狐冲运功正欲为仪琳解开穴道，想了想又觉得不妥，“我们还是离开这里再说吧，得罪了！”

 

说着抱起仪琳朝外而去。刚离开洞口，就听到田伯光的声音在附近响起：“余沧海你这缩头乌龟听着！你老子田伯光我诅咒你！咒你祖宗十八代！子孙三十八代！来，有种的就出来跟我大战三百回合！”

 

[Demonic_Duck]

That's quite a tirade!

 

On the subject of perverts, “色狼” and “色女”.

[歐博思]

胡一菲（愛情公寓）'s oft-used line: "你个废柴！”

 

edit: this is my 250th post lol

[Demonic_Duck]

Good 250th post.

 

Next one: “禽兽”.

[maomao2014]

骂人不带脏话

你长得挺有创意，活得挺有勇气，丑不是你的本意，是上帝在发脾气。

贱人永远都是贱人，就算经济危机了，你也贵不了！

遇事要先从自己身上找原因，别一拉不出屎就怪地球没有吸引力？

和人接触的时间越长，我就越喜欢狗，狗永远是狗，人有时候不是人！

思想有多远，你就滚多远；光速有多快，你就滚多快。

你一出门，千山鸟飞绝，万径人踪灭。

把XX的照片贴墙上，白天避邪，晚上避孕。

你是不是三鹿喝多了？

你活着浪费空气，死了浪费土地，半死不活浪费RMB……

你个不要脸的是不是以为四海之内皆你妈啊，谁都得惯着你！

我觉得世界上就只有两种人能吸引人，一种是特漂亮的一种就是你这样的

[giokve]

Maybe it's just me, but when it comes to insults and profanity, I think Chinese pales in comparison to pretty much any other language. On the whole, I find the language very stiff and dull.

[歐博思]

^examples? I'm sure someone could help you find an equivalent in Chinese

[Demonic_Duck]

Maybe it's just me, but when it comes to insults and profanity, I think Chinese pales in comparison to pretty much any other language. On the whole, I find the language very stiff and dull.

 

Strongly disagree about the language being stiff and dull - sure, it can be stiff and dull, but so can any language. It can also be vivid and full of life. It all depends on the speaker or writer.

 

Mildly agree about it being comparatively poor in profanity and insult-power, at least compared to English. I mean, you only have to look at the comparative versatility of “fuck” compared to “操”. No contest, “fuck” is more versatile many times over. I've also been told that Cantonese is a better language to insult people in (though this was from someone fluent in Cantonese but not Mandarin, so that could partly be because of unfamiliarity).

 

Anyway, a language is poor in profanity in the same way that a packet of “healthy” crisps is low in salt - yeah, it may have a lot less than others of its class, but there's still plenty there. That's what this thread for.

 

我觉得世界上就只有两种人能吸引人，一种是特漂亮的一种就是你这样的

 

This looks like a modified version of an insult used at the beginning of 《人在囧途》. I don't really understand why it's supposed to be so insulting, though - you're saying that the other person is able to attract people, but not very beautiful. Even if that's implying they're ugly, the compliment of being able to attract people seems to more than cancel that out (which I would assume to be even more true in a Chinese cultural context, where saying someone isn't good-looking normally isn't an insult, more of a simple statement of their perceived physical appearance).

 

Am I missing something here? Does it imply that there's some other (undesirable) reason they can attract people?

[imron]

I don't really understand why it's supposed to be so insulting, though

In English we'd call this a back-handed compliment.  An insult disguised as a compliment.

[歐博思]

Like a train wreck: so hideous you can't look away.

[Demonic_Duck]

In English we'd call this a back-handed compliment.  An insult disguised as a compliment.

 

I get the idea of back-handed compliments, but normally the implied insult is stronger than the overt compliment. In this case, it seems like the compliment is stronger, unless I'm missing something.

 

I'd understand it if it was something like “我很佩服你长得这样却还有能吸引人的神奇力量”, because that shifts the focus onto the implied ugliness.

 

Like a train wreck: so hideous you can't look away.

 

Hmm, that would make sense if it was “能吸引人的目光”, but it seems like a bit of a stretch from simply “能吸引人”.

[Kenny同志]

Maybe it's just me, but when it comes to insults and profanity, I think Chinese pales in comparison to pretty much any other language.

 

Sorry but I am not convinced. Of all the languages in the world, how many can you speak?

 

 

On the whole, I find the language very stiff and dull.

On the whole, I find '共產中文' stiff, dull, and disgusting, but not the authentic Chinese.

[歐博思]

 

 

我觉得世界上就只有两种人能吸引人，一种是特漂亮的一种就是你这样的

 

I'm watching 人在囧途 again now, and I think it means people are attracted to 'extremes', i.e. extreme beauty, extreme stupidity, (the average Joe not being extremely good or bad in a certain attribute is easier to overlook). 

 

edit: the next line is “谢谢你让我体会到，头发长见识短是一个真理”。

 

As an insult this is brilliant. Most long haired people are women, and with the last sentence he calls them beautiful but stupid. The sentence before said he was not one of the beautiful ones, but still with long hair and 'short' knowledge. Thus,

 

Ugly and stupid

[Kenny同志]

Maybe it's just me, but when it comes to insults and profanity, I think Chinese pales in comparison to pretty much any other language.

 

 

Anyway, while we are on insults and profanity, for this claim you made, you can expect the following retorts in Chinese(in order of vulgarity):

 

此乃小兒之見！

胡說！

一派胡言！

放屁！

你放的屁，簡直臭不可聞！

放你娘的屁！

放你娘的狗屁！

 

And other varieties.

[Demonic_Duck]

Kenny同志 killin' it up in this thread.

 

My next one: “朽木不可雕也，孺子不可教也”.