Apologies for the lack of Signese-love recently, I have been doing other things. Not sure what though.
Here's a hand-scribbled ad stuck up on a window near my local breakfast emporium (ok, McDonald's. Best value coffee in Beijing, I maintain). Rather than just ask you a bunch of questions though, I'm hereby challenging you to transcribe or translate the entire ad. If you can't do it all just do the bits you can.