interracial marriage

[bhchao]

Bruce Lee's wife, Linda Cadwell, seemed like a gracious, steadfast, and poised woman. She is the big exception to the often true stereotype afflicting American women. Usually you can tell by first impressions using your natural instincts whether a woman is the "class" type, 普通, or 低級.

She is average-looking, which should not matter at all in selecting a lifelong mate. But you can tell that she is a woman of class.

Christopher Reeve's wife Dana Morosini is also an exception. Courageous, resilient, and supportive woman.

[outcast]

One other thing:

From personal experience I know that chinese girls are much more controlling, domineering, and outright aggressive than american girls. When you are in love with a chinese girl, they OWN you.

Lastly, I think that in Asia, women's "place" in society just resembles what it USE TO be like in the US....

In China that is starting to change. In Shanghai it is easier to get a job if you are a girl, and many men simply become "house husbands". Many places in China are not like this though, which is why it is considered to be backward.

[Long Zhiren]

In China that is starting to change. In Shanghai it is easier to get a job if you are a girl, and many men simply become "house husbands". Many places in China are not like this though, which is why it is considered to be backward.

Actually, there are more and more "astronauts."

Wife lives in one place. Husband lives in a different city, country, continent, etc.

One Chinese woman that I met in Chicago years ago wanted to date me. I discovered that she was married! Forget it.

The current popular atmosphere of mistresses, etc is quite amazing too.

Does marriage actually mean anything in China anymore?

No wonder interracial marriage is taking off! A lot of people want to escape the pit that they're currently in.

[bhchao]

The current popular atmosphere of mistresses, etc is quite amazing too.

Does marriage actually mean anything in China anymore?

Tell that to the many Taiwanese businessmen working on the mainland.

There was an extremely nice ABJ girl during my college years whom I almost dated. Looking back I regret not taking any action in developing a relationship with her.

[Ian_Lee]

How come the topic of interracial marriage evolves into interracial dating?

Interracial dating is fun; interracial marriage is a serious matter.

Personally I think most interracial marriages turn out to be happy marriages. Why? Because both sides have already been prepared for adaptation before the marriage. Two of my friends (Chinese) married with Korean and Japanese and my sister married a Briton. All three marriages lasted till today.

Somehow I know an American girl who married a Bosnian Moslem refugee that had her marriage ended in disaster. I think it is due to huge gap in culture (American vs East European), religion (Christian vs Moslem) and value (peaceful life vs war-trodden refugee).

But I think interracial marriage won't work for me. I can't stand my wife fixing burger or pizza or Lasagna for dinner every evening!

[johnd]

Would you not fix dinner for you wife, Ian_Lee?

[roddy]

Interesting idea. Also, some feminists now claim, Ian, that women can be trained to cook new dishes. . . .

[outcast]

But I think interracial marriage won't work for me. I can't stand my wife fixing burger or pizza or Lasagna for dinner every evening!

Learn how to cook food on your own, lazy.

[kudra]

Since we beating up on Ian, here's a suggestion for him.

But I think interracial marriage won't work for me. I can't stand my wife fixing burger or pizza or Lasagna for dinner every evening!

Come on don't give up so easily. Here's the plan:

Enroll in a Chinese Cooking Class at a community center or Community College, meet women. By design, make sure you are the worst student in the class, but keep a winning attitude. Sweep up the sympathy. You thus meet women who won't cook burgers or pizza every night. Plus it is clear from the get-go that you can't cook. Then all you have to do is break a few dishes while "washing" them, and you'll never have to clean up either. Did I miss anything?

Edit to add: Oh yeah, make sure you ruin some clothes doing laundry.

[adrianlondon]

The trouble with that plan is you end up dating a woman who also can't cook.

[Qcash3]

From personal experience I know that chinese girls are much more controlling, domineering, and outright aggressive than american girls. When you are in love with a chinese girl, they OWN you.

Hmm, in my experience it has been just the opposite. The only Chinese girl that I ever dated was the shyest person in the world. I mean after our first date she ran from the cab into her apartment building. At least I like to attribute that to shyness.... She did come back the next day so it couldn't have been that bad. My most recent girlfriend was Caucasian-American, and she fit the stereotype of the liberated woman... All of the above mentioned adjectives; controlling, domineering, outright agressive, BINGO! I'm not saying that all American women are like this because they aren't, but this girl was like that and she had me scared sh*tless.

[sarahkuang]

I would say it would do with the traditional conception. In Chinese traditional conception, man should be strong in all aspects: body figure, economy, mind and women should marry a man who is stronger in above aspects. When you use this standard to compare Western women / Asian women and Western man / Asian man, it is no hard to understand that Asian man would like to marry Asian woman and Asian woman pretty much prefer Western man.

[bhchao]

In Chinese traditional conception, man should be strong in all aspects: body figure, economy, mind and women should marry a man who is stronger in above aspects. When you use this standard to compare Western women / Asian women and Western man / Asian man, it is no hard to understand that Asian man would like to marry Asian woman and Asian woman pretty much prefer Western man.

A pretty accurate statement, although I disagree with the part about Asian women "pretty much" preferring Western men.

By the way regarding Ian's statement, personally I do not expect my future spouse (should I decide to tie the knot) to be the family cook. But I can understand why many men, especially those who grew up in a traditional Chinese family, have the expectation of the wife being the cook for the family. My paternal side was a very traditional Cantonese family, and both my father and grandfather married a woman who had no qualms about fulfilling her role as the cook.

Most Cantonese males of the older generation (up to the post-WWII baby boomer generation) do not cook for the family. I would feel ashamed if I was unable to cook at all for my future spouse, but I don't feel ashamed that my previous generations (father and grandfather who grew up in households where the man earned the money, and the woman nourished the household) don't cook.

[gamerfu]

I really apologize for this comment, but I know in America, Asian men aren't considered sexy. Honestly, American woman believes all Asian men have tiny packages.

Blame the Japanese!

[Lu]

Then why don't all American women rush to date black men? They have a reputation in that respect as well.

[gato]

Then why don't all American women rush to date black men?

They do. There's a very high marry-out rate among middle-class African-American men, so much so that it makes African-American women piss mad whenever the topic comes up.

See this site:

http://www.whitewomenblackmen.com/

http://www.isteve.com/2003_Census_Interracial_Marriage_Gender_Gap.htm

2000 Census Shows Interracial Marriage Gender Gaps Remain Large

by Steve Sailer

UPI, March 14, 2003

In 2000, African-American men had white wives 2.65 times more often than black women had white husbands. In other words, in 73 percent of black-white couples, the husband was black and wife was white.

(This interracial gender gap is even sharper among black-white couples who cohabit without being married. Five times as many black men live with white women as white men live with black women.)

Like most guys, Asian-American men are fairly reticent about admitting any frustrations in the mating game. But the news for them was even worse. Asian women had white husbands 3.08 times more often than Asian men had white wives. That means 75 percent of white-Asian couples featured a white husband and Asian wife.

That 3.08 ratio compared to the 2.54 ratio in 1990, which was based on a slightly different methodology, so readers should be cautious about assuming the trend is growing. (Oddly enough, the 1990 ratios for black-white and white-Asian marriages were mirror images of each other.)

In 2000, the white-Asian inequality was somewhat less severe among unmarried partners: 2.09 times as many white men cohabited with Asian women as Asian men cohabited with white women.

The inevitable flip side of the lack of interracial marital opportunities felt by black women and Asian men is that black men and Asian women find themselves more in demand as spouses.

Black-Asian couples, such as the one that produced golfer Tiger Woods, are still rare, but they are even more unbalanced than interracial pairings involving whites. There were 6.15 times more couples where the husband was black and the wife was Asian than where the husband was Asian and the wife black.

Although the bitterness that some black women feel over intermarriage is well known, the imbalance rests even more heavily on Asian-American men. For every 1,000 Asian women with husbands, only 860 Asian men had wives, leaving a large number of Asian bachelors left over. In contrast, for every 1,000 black women who were married, there were 1,059 black married men.

In the many Internet chat rooms that debate what young Asians call "the dating disparity," most participants blame media stereotypes. More controversially, some observers have pointed to differences among the races in cultural standards of behavior, or even to average physical differences in height, hair length, muscularity, and the like.

[Long Zhiren]

It's because that particular Asian woman is not good enough for Asian man.

Being an Asian man that's married to a Western woman, I'm really sick of the former stereotype of "Asian woman prefering Western man." The stereotype belongs in tabloids, in gossip columns and with people stupid enough to believe it. The "traditional conception" theory is just crap. A lot of people (regardless whether they are white, yellow, black or green)prefer "tradition" over slutty promiscuous behavior (and other non-"traditional" things) so stop poo-poo'ing the term "traditional".

That's my Thursday morning rant. So now back to our regularly scheduled program...

[taryn]

Back to the original question:

Why chinese/aisan women are more popular in interracial marriage than Chinese/Asian men? And I heard people say asian women exotic but never heard men exotic. why? what's wrong?

Watch the movies, you can find sexy asian women (e.g. Lucy Liu), but cannot find sexy men(Jacky Chan is COOL,not sexy ) ?

Is there any social factors behind it?

There is no real motive for the "powers-that-be" to portray anyone other than themselves as sexy. Media is a powerful image maker and media outlets--at least in America--are controlled by European descended males and so we know who gets the sexy points! (Women tend to be much more egalitarian about these things.) Similarly, though do you see any shows in China portraying Tiben men as suave and desirable?

So how is it that black men have gotten the sexy pass in Western media? Because they were portrayed as the bad guys, the dangerous ones. We all know how girls like a bad guy. Most of the time, when girls want to rebel, they'll seek to date a black guy. Like, Oooh! Look at me! Can't you see I'm rebelling?! (Not necessarily the case for marriage.)

[Ian_Lee]

Johnd & Roddy & Outcast & Kudra & Bhchao:

You guys have misunderstood. I am not lazy at all. In fact, I do all the housework including mowing the lawn, mopping the floor, dumping the garbage,......etc. The only exception is that my wife never allows me to cook. Kitchen is her personal domain. It is not that I don't know anything about cooking (in fact I always tell her what to cook and how to cook).

But anyway, if a girl don't know how to cook, why would any guy marry her in the first place?

[Ian_Lee]

Gato:

The 2000 census may not reflect the reality.

A lot of White American guys mail order Asian brides from Philippines and Thailand. And a lot of American GIs marry Korean girls and bring them back into the country.

But hardly any White American gals do so. So unless there is a detailed breakown in the ethnic cohorts and causes of marriage on the 2000 census, it is inconclusive to say that White guys prefer Chinese girls while White gals shun Chinese guys.