interracial marriage

[CookieFactory]

Claiming asian women are more attracted to causasian men is as fundamentally true as claiming caucasian women are more attracted to black men; perhaps less so.

Females of almost any species are less visually oriented than males, and are mostly attracted to the ability of the male to provide for a family. Given the current socioeconomic status of China as a developing country and the predominance of the West for the last few centuries, it's easy to see this draw. Give it 20-50 years when China rises as the world's economic and cultural epicenter and I guarantee asian males will be portrayed as the "sexiest" by the media and thus, by the humanity at large.

The second aspect to female attraction is masculinity. Consider, would the guys on this forum be more attracted to a tomboy or a girly-girl? Females are the same way; they don't want girly, sensitive men, they want real men. In current US and Western society the black male is perceived as the most masculine of the bunch, and that's why there is a huge trend of white females seeking out black men. The vast majority of asian males I know are stereotypically passive and shy i.e. not exactly the eptiome of masculinity. Is it coincidence that these asian males are the ones complaining about not being able to attract white females? Not suprisingly to me, the few asian males I know who are outgoing, type-A personality, "alpha-males" have no problem attracting caucasian females in the droves.

Talking to my white female friends and reading other caucasian female's comments on various message boards shows that they (especially the current generations) are actually very attracted to asian men. Why the inconsistency then? You might not want to hear this but there's only asian men to blame. For the most part, you are passive, reserved, shy, beta-males whose attitude does not exhibit the classic masculine image females biologically respond to. THIS is your problem. Yes media portrayals have huge impact, but the lion's share of the blame lies at your feet and your feet alone. No pun intended, but be a man and so something about it!

[bhchao]

The vast majority of asian males I know are stereotypically passive and shy i.e. not exactly the eptiome of masculinity. Is it coincidence that these asian males are the ones complaining about not being able to attract white females?...

For the most part, you are passive, reserved, shy, beta-males whose attitude does not exhibit the classic masculine image females biologically respond to.

You seem like you're indicating that white females are something to die for among Asian men. Not quite true. A very large majority of Asian men and many white men prefer Asian females. So actually white females are left in the dark, at least from the perspective of most Asian men and those white men who have had exposure with Asia or Asian women.

And I would not suggest at all to my fellow males that they change their personality just to fit the female's preference. Be yourself. Don't let the woman dictate who you are. If you are shy and passive, so be it. If you are hunky and assertive, so be it. If the woman doesn't like it, tough luck. She's not the one then.

[[欧阳江]]

Oh dear, have this alpha male crap found its way to this forum as well..

[Lu]

Chinese women like white men, white women like black men, the only ones left in the dark are the black women, and of course the Chinese men.

No, seriously. It's not wrong to be shy and passive, it just happens to be so that it's very hard to meet people (men or women) when one acts like that. For women this is sometimes less of a problem: the men are supposed to come to them, so they can be passive and still find a guy. But for passive men it's hard.

Apart from that: in my (limited) experience, Asian men are not shy and passive at all. Huaqiao sometimes are, but I've had countless Asian men 搭讪'ing me, even when I wasn't even trying (reading a book or sth). Some looked for language exchange, some for another kind of exchange.

And if they would really be that shy & passive, wouldn't they be happy with women who took the initiative? Yet they are not. Asian men like women who are shyer and more passive than they are. (That's another sweeping generalization for the book.)

[zixingche]

Yeah, I agree, Chinese men outside of China, esp foreign born, on average, generally tend to be more shy and introverted than Chinese men in China.

"Some looked for language exchange, some for another kind of exchange."

Haha! that's a good one

[HashiriKata]

Chinese men outside of China, esp foreign born, on average, generally tend to be more shy and introverted than Chinese men in China.

This seems true and can be a worthwhile study to look into the cause(s).

Some looked for language exchange, some for another kind of exchange

This is naturally true, how can it be an exchange otherwise?

------------

PS: Hey, the number of my posts is 1111! Should I keep it this way?

[bhchao]

Chinese women like white men, white women like black men, the only ones left in the dark are the black women, and of course the Chinese men.

White women like black men because neither white nor Chinese men like white women. Therefore white women have no choice but to like black men.

Seriously though, I think Chinese men on the mainland are starting to be left in the dark literally as we speak. Why? The one-child policy is causing a huge surplus of Chinese men over Chinese women. It's creating an army of bachelors fighting with one another for women. And the condition is made worse by many Chinese women going for foreign men (not that is anything wrong with that) due to the socioeconomic environment.

No, seriously. It's not wrong to be shy and passive, it just happens to be so that it's very hard to meet people (men or women) when one acts like that. For women this is sometimes less of a problem: the men are supposed to come to them, so they can be passive and still find a guy. But for passive men it's hard...

And if they would really be that shy & passive, wouldn't they be happy with women who took the initiative? Yet they are not.

You are right on shyness being an inhibitor in meeting new people, whether it be men or women. But I've seen a lot of shy guys with extroverted girlfriends in stable relationships. How these relationships came about in the first place is because one of them took the initiative one way or the other. Personally, I don't recommend men to be passive, but you can't change them to be someone that they're not, because there are relationships or marriages where outgoing women are attached to reserved men.

The saying "opposites attract" does have some truth in it.

But generally speaking, extroverted women tend to go for extroverted men. Introverted women are more likely to go for other introverted men.

Asian men like women who are shyer and more passive than they are. (That's another sweeping generalization for the book.)

That may be true in traditional Asian societies. Yet I have a Korean-American classmate (a very masculine guy) in a Korean class who is married to a very proactive Iraqi woman. My sister is very extroverted, yet she is in a long-term relationship with an introverted, shy Japanese-American guy.

I think the problem with white women from the perspective of white men who marry Asian women is that they try to dominate their male partners too much and control them by trying to turn them into someone that they're not.

[Long Zhiren]

But I've seen a lot of shy guys with extroverted girlfriends in stable relationships.

You'd better start writing a book because there's a lot of issues getting tossed around here now. Relationships always involve opposites to some degree. Some call it complementary characteristics. Another common thing that happens is a match between a first in a birth-order with a last in a birth-order.

Another example is the neat, tidy and organized character that matches with the free-spirit character. Without the first, the second finds chaos. Without the second, the first has no life. Does the combination mean "less life and more chaos" or "more life and less chaos?" That's chemistry and that's what makes relationships so exciting, but a lot of work.

Stable is a scary term. I like to think of relationships coming three ways: free-loading, renting or buying (to borrow the terms of a successful marriage counselor named Dr Willard Harley). Most marriage counselors are failures actually. This guy is the rare success case. 46 years of marriage and counting for himself, and about 10,000 divorce-headed marriages reversed into relationships that fell in love and are staying love.

In the US, few people know how to buy anymore. So many are borrowing (homes included) that the culture has made buying that much more difficult or not even expected.

Nurturing a free-load (adulterous) or a renting (cohabitation) mentality makes any present or future relationship very very difficult if not impossible, because the me-first mentality disables one's ability to live with a buying (providing extraordinary care for others) mentality. You get children whose parents have split.

Chinese women like white men, white women like black men...

As I've seen in the US, a lot of Chinese (it's not just Chinese) grow up, just plain ashamed to be Chinese (or whatever identity they have). They've got serious identity problems. It's a problem with being insecure and shallow. The popular culture nurtures these insecurities with unrealisic standards of beauty, etc. It also makes deceit to be some kind of expected nature. These are all roots for bigotry. Sometimes this is the case. They start dying their hair, changing the spellings of their names, using different colored contact lenses, getting tattoos/piercings, etc...doing anything to gain perceived acceptance. They'll just wind up attracting people who don't accept them for who they are...a disaster.

[owen]

You'd better start writing a book because there's a lot of issues getting tossed around here now. Relationships always involve opposites to some degree. Some call it complementary characteristics. Another common thing that happens is a match between a first in a birth-order with a last in a birth-order.

Another example is the neat, tidy and organized character that matches with the free-spirit character. Without the first, the second finds chaos. Without the second, the first has no life. Does the combination mean "less life and more chaos" or "more life and less chaos?" That's chemistry and that's what makes relationships so exciting, but a lot of work.

Stable is a scary term. I like to think of relationships coming three ways: free-loading, renting or buying (to borrow the terms of a successful marriage counselor named Dr Willard Harley). Most marriage counselors are failures actually. This guy is the rare success case. 46 years of marriage and counting for himself, and about 10,000 divorce-headed marriages reversed into relationships that fell in love and are staying love.

In the US, few people know how to buy anymore. So many are borrowing (homes included) that the culture has made buying that much more difficult or not even expected.

Nurturing a free-load (adulterous) or a renting (cohabitation) mentality makes any present or future relationship very very difficult if not impossible, because the me-first mentality disables one's ability to live with a buying (providing extraordinary care for others) mentality. You get children whose parents have split.

The reality is that all kinds of relationships/marriages (both successful and unsuccessful) emerge between all kinds of people in all kinds of situations everywhere in the world. To try to fit them all into three categories, or say something that all of them have in common is lunacy.

[ocpaul20]

It seems to me that we all have to get to know ourselves again. Too many people dont understand themselves, their feelings, their emotions, their childhood programming, their position in society and their connection with the earth and to each other. In short, most of us have a huge identity crisis.

Basically, we dont accept ourselves for being the way we are. If we did, we would have more well-adjusted individuals, and better relationships because of this.

[Fran & Gaz]

Hmmm...seems most of the posts in this thread have omitted one eensy-weensy-tiny concept that occurs between 2 people; LOVE.

Often when we fall in love with another we aren't at all times weighing up their appearance, nationality, etc. Yes, we do counter a lot into the fact these things, but chemistry is chemistry. That explosion of love will blindsight you so much. No arms, no legs? Still love him/her.

I love reading the posts. You know once I split one of my hairs 17 times? Guiness Book of Records stuff. That's what these posts are like. Brilliant.

I ( Fran not Gaz ) am finding Chinese men are growing on me ( I'm not Chinese ) unfortunately they're not allowed to as I'm attached:wall I personally don't see them as just a nationality, they're men, human beings.

I'm going to add to the generalisations now about Asian men/Asian women and of course they're racist. That's what racism is, isn't it? Picking apart the differences in races? Superiority/Inferiority, Comparisons, etc.

Asian Men: GENERAL PERCEPTIONS TO WESTERN FEMALES IN OUR COUNTRIES

-Small in the "trouser department" ( Sorry this is a generalisation and I'm personally not hung-up on that.)

-Either too studious or too poor.

- Polite or extremely arrogant.

- Fixated on gambling (especially in Melbourne, AUS)

- Youths: Violent especially with knives (Many Asian gangs in Melbourne, AUS-lots of stabbings)

- Bad drivers

- Bumbling with the English language

- Good to have as your Accountant or Doctor

- Pleasant

- No Asian movie stars known to us apart from Jackie Chan, and no he's not handsome to us.

- Too commercialised sometimes in their thinking

- Shifty characters

- Sleazy

- They look the same, just different sizes

- We don't like it that they take all our University places ( COS THEY HAVE RICH PARENTS)

- We don't think of them as sexy, more as students

- Intelligent and diligent

- We can see them as sexy if they workout at the gym otherwise its a personality /intelligence thing.

Asian Women: GENERAL PERCEPTIONS TO WESTERN MALES IN OUR COUNTRIES

- A Cook

- A Cleaner

- Too giggly

- Too attached to friends, they go everywhere in mobs

- Little petite clothes mannequins

- Either too studious or ultra-promiscuous ( This mostly comes from the impressions of Ping-Pong Ball tricks from strip-clubs in Asia )

- Cheap employment

- Fussy

- Anorexic types, not eating properly

- Not many Asian movie stars known to us ( Western women think Lucy Liu has nice hair)

- Fiery or too quiet

- Subservient

- Primitive and forward thinking at the same time

- Use Western men to get citizenship to our countries

- Bad drivers

GENERAL PERCEPTIONS OF A WESTERN MAN WITH AN ASIAN WOMEN:

- Couple similar ages: The sex thing jumps into mind immediately: Wow, she must be more satisfied in bed with him than with an Asian guy ( 'cos of the size thing) we think the same of a white woman with a black man.

- Older man/Asian wife: The ewww factor. Mail Order bride. We think of the man as having no skills with western women, and bought a bride. We think of the woman as a commodity that was bought. We think of them both as "gross". We feel sorry for both of them, that she was so poor that she had to be "rescued" from her homeland and images of the husband financially supporting her family in her homeland.

GENERAL PERCEPTIONS OF A WESTERN WOMAN WITH AN ASIAN MAN:

- Very rare!

- Romantic

- Think of the woman as "forward-thinking" maybe has travelled, met her man, fallen in LOVE.

- If they have children together we think its "adorable" but pity a half-caste growing up.

And genes does not mean Asian guys have to be willowy...they just have to stop racing everywhere and pump iron at the gym like western men to build their frame. Skinny is OK too though.

Zai Jian FRAN & GAZ

[yonitabonita]

To think that some of the people behind these postings have the right to vote!

Oh the humanity..

[bianfuxia]

Stereotype: (n) an often oversimplified or biased mental picture held to characterize the typical individual of a group.

And here's mine after reading this thread: Morons!

Of course, not everyone who responded fits the stereotype. There were indeed some wise and intelligent comments made in that sea of ignorance and racism. But hell, while everyone else is in the mood to make meaningless statements based on nothing but prejudice, why shouldn't I join in?

[roddy]

Just had a flick through this. Closing it, it's a bit of an embarassment.