Kessha Posted May 29, 2009 at 10:42 PM Report Share Posted May 29, 2009 at 10:42 PM Hello! My girlfriend and I were 7 days on vacation in Boston, MA. Since both of us are interested in Chinese culture and language we stayed most of time in Chinatown, shopping, eating out at different restaurants and so on. But we noticed that the people there were anything but nice and polite, which was very surprising Although my girlfriend is Chinese herself she was shocked to see how impolite we were treated at the different restaurants because I/we did not speak Cantonese and because I am not Chinese myself - but European. For example we were treated considerably worse at all the restaurants (got the 'western style' menu not the real Chinese food, we had to wait much longer than others till we got our tables, the waitress didn't intend to serve us, and if we were served it was like we had some kind of epidemic illness. Some older Chinese even growled to me when I walked past them ) The problem was that from the first time they saw that my girlfriend was together with a 'foreigner' they treated her the same rude way they treated me. It this normal? Are all the Chinese people in Chinatown the same? What about the people in China? What is their attitude towards foreigners? Thanks very much! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don_Horhe Posted May 29, 2009 at 10:54 PM Report Share Posted May 29, 2009 at 10:54 PM I don't know, man, I've never been to Chinatown, nor to the US for that matter. What I can say, though, is that jerks are jerks, no matter where they come from. Here in China I've come across both types - amazingly friendly and terribly not so, although the former tend to be more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stoney Posted May 29, 2009 at 11:00 PM Report Share Posted May 29, 2009 at 11:00 PM Some older Chinese even growled to me when I walked past them That's funny! I think your day in China town would make for a great comedy routine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renzhe Posted May 29, 2009 at 11:04 PM Report Share Posted May 29, 2009 at 11:04 PM I've experienced something similar in a restaurant in Germany, but only once. Generally, people are either normal or very friendly. So I wouldn't say that what you've experienced is typical. Maybe you walked into a small clique that is not meant for outsiders, and these restaurants usually only serve the local community or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abcdefg Posted May 29, 2009 at 11:22 PM Report Share Posted May 29, 2009 at 11:22 PM (edited) It this normal?...What about the people in China? I would be extremely reluctant to extrapolate from that odd experience to what people are like in China. Edited May 30, 2009 at 01:49 AM by abcdefg use quote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadowdh Posted May 30, 2009 at 12:06 AM Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 at 12:06 AM I have experienced the total opposite in the London version of Chinatown... pretty much all friendly apart from those who are apathetic. China I have mostly fantastic experiences of friendly people everywhere... sure some are perhaps not as friendly but perhaps they are having a bad day or didnt get any the night before... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazy-meiguoren Posted May 30, 2009 at 06:09 AM Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 at 06:09 AM Maybe it was the attitude of the particular restaurant (and its clientele) you went to. Maybe the Boston community is more cliquish. I haven't had that problem in Seattle's Chinatown. (Excuse me, International District.) The town I live in is too small to have a Chinatown, but we do have a Chinese community that is very friendly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gato Posted May 30, 2009 at 06:24 AM Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 at 06:24 AM You ran into a group of more traditional overseas Chinese who don't like Chinese girls dating non-Asian guys. It's not unusual. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kessha Posted May 30, 2009 at 09:32 AM Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 at 09:32 AM Thanks very much for all the replies. I don't have any prejudices and generalize what I experienced in Chinatown, I was just curious if this behavior is common, especially when dealing with foreigners. You ran into a group of more traditional overseas Chinese who don't like Chinese girls dating non-Asian guys. It's not unusual. I am not a guy. But I don't think that being a lesbian was the reason for the behavior, because we did not made it public in Chinatown that we are a couple. We do have a smaller chinese community here in Vienna too with lots of grocery stores and some bookshops. That reminds me that they are more likely to be rude when you are European. They always greeted my girlfriend and were friendly to her, but not to me. Well I do not take this personal I don't believe that everybody has the same attitude towards foreigners. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrix Posted May 30, 2009 at 10:01 AM Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 at 10:01 AM ehem. This stuff even happens also outside of Chinatowns in the US.* I've heard a lot of bewildering experiences at restaurants from people in racially mixed relationships or even groups. This includes Asian/white, but more commonly black/white. I've been to Boston Chinatown, I was eating there with a very nice old lady, a Cantonese speaker to boot, didn't experience any unpleasantries. *please note that I don't mean this only happens in the US! And of course it doesn't mean it happens all the time. I've personally never run into such a situation, except for this one time in Japan... well never mind... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Music&MeForever Posted May 30, 2009 at 10:31 AM Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 at 10:31 AM From my experience it is quite unusual for the Chinese to be rude to foreign girls, alone or in couples, or accompanied by Chinese friends, male or female. Especially in Chinatown. There is basically no rule for this and it really depends on who you run into, but they are far more likely to display this kind of hostility towards foreign males and not necessarily only Europeans - I've witnessed very bad cases involving Japanese and Koreans too who happen to be of the same race with them, right? Still this is quite negligible when compared to how rude they can be towards interracial couples, homo or hetero. the waitress didn't intend to serve us, and if we were served it was like we had some kind of epidemic illness. Some older Chinese even growled to me when I walked past them This is very interesting. If it's not your looks they dislike, I mean how you two communicate: if either of you walks an' talks an' plays the guy part in your relationship:mrgreen: then let's presume they've a sixth sense and can, how shall I put it: detect a lesbian and OMG worse still: interracial lesbian couple no matter how hard you may try to hide it. I don't mean to be rude (I'm not Chinese ) but you say you are very interested in Chinese culture. Then I suggest you should keep in mind the Chinese are still very backwards when it comes to nontraditional relationships. The best thing you can do is learn to ignore it or get used to it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renzhe Posted May 30, 2009 at 11:30 AM Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 at 11:30 AM I am not a guy. It think that was the problem right there. When I first read your post, I thought that it was so unusual that there must be more to the story. You ran into conservative people, that's all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrix Posted May 30, 2009 at 11:55 AM Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 at 11:55 AM yes that reminds of a story (from Germany). I have two female friends who at some point at the beginning kept their relationship secret. Their circle of friends never suspected anything because one of them was totally in the "breeder column" as it were. But when my cousin came to visit, who didn't know them, she immediately detected it. I guess since the OP said that they didn't anything obvious this is something that might have happened here? But I'd be curious to know how Chinese attitudes have evolved in recent years. I think I remember that in recent years they repealed sodomy laws (but those were only directed against men I think?) or at least akin to the US situation prior to Texas v. Lawrence they no longer enforce them consistently? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skylee Posted May 30, 2009 at 12:15 PM Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 at 12:15 PM but they are far more likely to display this kind of hostility towards foreign males and not necessarily only Europeans - I've witnessed very bad cases involving Japanese and Koreans too who happen to be of the same race with them, right? I'm not sure I understand the "same race". That reminds me that they are more likely to be rude when you are European. They always greeted my girlfriend and were friendly to her, but not to me. This reminds me of all those rude waiters in Paris (specifically Paris, not other parts of France). They didn't seem to be rude to other white people or people who spoke French. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadowdh Posted May 30, 2009 at 12:38 PM Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 at 12:38 PM This reminds me of all those rude waiters in Paris (specifically Paris, not other parts of France). They didn't seem to be rude to other white people or people who spoke French. Thats not just for those who are not white or french speaking... I am a white person who in my first couple of trips to Paris tried speaking (with admittedly rubbish) French and talk about rude... But you are very right in that it seems to be a Parisian thing... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrix Posted May 30, 2009 at 12:42 PM Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 at 12:42 PM (edited) well probably we should get a new thread about the French hehe. They are famous for being rude towards people who don't speak French well, especially the Parisians, but I've heard people telling stories to the contrary, maybe it's like the story with the unfriendly New Yorkers. Well, I'll be glad to report back in a couple of months when I've been able to experience it myself. Will also meet Chinese speakers there, so that will be an additional test hehe. Edited May 30, 2009 at 02:32 PM by chrix Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Music&MeForever Posted May 30, 2009 at 01:17 PM Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 at 01:17 PM I'm not sure I understand the "same race" And I'm pretty sure you do :wink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renzhe Posted May 30, 2009 at 01:27 PM Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 at 01:27 PM Define "race". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrix Posted May 30, 2009 at 01:33 PM Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 at 01:33 PM yeah it's a pretty subjective concept, isn't it. And definitely in the setting described, from the POV of the Chinatown denizens, Koreans and Japanese would belong to the out-group rather than the in-group (race/ethnicity/whatchamacallit), but it might also be true that from the OP's POV, they might fall into the same category... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skylee Posted May 30, 2009 at 02:00 PM Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 at 02:00 PM well probably we should get a new thread about the French hehe. Not a bad idea. And the title of the thread could be "are French people really that unfriendly to foreigners?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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